Thursday, 5 February 2009

shattered (20)


My mom knew all about my relationship with Terki, but she sure didn’t find out about our short trip. I could see her sympathetic worried eyes turn to icy angry ones. I knew that once im fully recovered she would confront me; I knew that I was in a big trouble.

"You can't keep on blocking him away, 7aram 3alaich he called me million marra egool he needs to see you" Farah said. She didn’t leave my bedside in the past ten days. I was still in the hospital; I was too um... Broken to be released. the doctor said something like "meno ga9 3alaich o galech enna mafeech shay?"

"Farah maly 5elg ashofa, 7ady lay3a chabdy menna, mat9adgeen shkether!" I said.

"ee laish ya3ny?? You know it's not his fault! 7aram 3alaich tara methel ma ana Martha 3laich ham ba3ad Martha 3leh"

" ana agolech laish! La2ana kelma im with him, something happens! Madry laish! , 7ady tenasait feh, o a7es ena if I saw him I'll do something that I'll regret later!" I tried to explain how I felt.

"Something like what ya3ny?!" I could sense her annoyance, she was mad at me.

" something like DUMPING him"

"entay yanaity?! 9ij enich mu kafo wa7ed e7ebich hal kether! You'll see him ya3ny you'll see him fahma??!!!!!!" she yelled. Uh oh! The anger issues had always scared me!

"okay, fahma" I whispered.
-----------------------------------------------------

At noon Farah left and mom came over with the boys, I made sure that they were around me all the time; I didn’t want to confront my mom, yet.

But of course om 3bdulwahab wouldn’t have it that way.

" 7amani,wahab 6el3aw shway barra e5etkom ta3bana" she said.

" mama mu ta3bana abeehom here, I missed them" I said. I was sick from fear.

" 6el3aw barra" she said sharply. They got out of the room whispering something to each other.

" sem3eeny 3adel jano, ana sakta 3anech o 3an sowalfech 9ayerly foug el 7 months, kel youm 6al3atly ebchethba o ana ga3da a6aweflech, entay eshayfa omich?? La golely eshayfatny 7MARA?!! " she shouted as soon as they slammed the door behind them.

I was so scared, I had never seen mom like this. I daren’t say a word.

" bnaya shkobrech matest7en 3la wayhech??? Mafakartay ennas yet7achon??? Mafakartay enna 3endich som3a o ahal??!! Shely estafadteh el7en?? '3air enich emkasara o naima bel mostashfa??!!!"

" mama masawait shay!!! A7eba!!" I cried " 9ar 7aram el7en?? Mama I love him!!! "
She grabbed my arm real tight, it hurt. " sem3eny zain jano! Mabeech tshofena marra thania, SEMA3TEENY?! Shdarach enna ohwa mu ga3ed ege9 3alaich??! Jana ohwa lo e7ebich chan taqadamlech!!!"

"You can't stop me! im a big girl! IM A WOMAN mom! You cant stop me from seeing him! 7aram 3alaich!!" I was sobbing like a baby, my mom never treated me like this her entire life, I had always been a good girl, and she knew it.

" mu hathy elmoshkela gelteha!! You're a woman! Bas wain ely yefham!! Entay ely 7aram 3laich!! Tsaween ebnafsech o feny chethy!! , esta'3fer allah yaraby 3endy bnaia wa7da o mlaw3a chabdy!!! Lawa3ty chabdy!! "

" BAS!!! Bass!! I DON’T WANNA HEAR A WORD!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!" I yelled and then all of a sudden she was caught off guard and she slapped me very hard on the face.

I felt the electric shock of the slap, the heat that was rising from my left cheek suddenly made me aware of what just happened. My mother laid her hand on me. It was nothing like fahad's slap; it was more of a slap that was directed to my soul. My damaged soul.

I can still remember the look in her eyes. I couldn’t tell what she felt, was it fury? Sadness? Regret? Was she crying? I didn't know and I couldn’t see. I only saw one thing; I saw hatred in my heart for that woman in that very moment.

When she left, I resumed crying, I was crying furiously because everything went wrong, I was helpless and I was sick of "7athy el 3awai".

After long hours of crying, I started thinking about Terki. If he was worth all this pain im going through, what if mom was right and he was "ege9 3alay" , but I knew that he wasn’t , I knew that he loved me, I felt it.

----------------------------------------------------------

I woke up at night; it was dark except for the thin ray of light that was coming through the window. I didn’t move, I stayed there in the same position, reflecting the events that led me to where I was now. A single tear trickled down my cheek, I believe that it was a tear of relief; I was relieved that I was finally alone without the lot of them.

Then it hit me, I needed to talk to Terki as soon as possible, like NOW.

Shit. There was this problem, my phone wasn’t with me. I thought for a minute and came up with something.

I got up from bed, helped myself to the wheelchair and drove myself to the hospital's counter. luckily for me everyone was asleep and there wasnt even a single doctor to be seen.

34 comments:

S said...

7aram 3alaich! this part really killed me.. cheni ana ili yani kaf!
ma 3alaih.. things can only go uphill..?!

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

ambaih kserata 5a6ry mskeena =(

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

S,
ambaih we commented in the same second! ;)

S said...

haha Dandoon ,, i like u already (A)

moi said...

s: ahh sektay i couldnt stop crying;s

dandooon: 7dha:(;* , wow! in the same second;p

Anonymous said...

7araaam !! 3awerat galbii..wain mobileha?? 3end omha?

Anonymous said...

waaai:(
wallaah ksrt 5a6ri uff
i cant wait till the next post;@

love ;** said...

Maskeen, what a horrible position to be in. 6oul il youm feny bchwa and after reading this im like a water fountain.

Please tell me they work things out, I like Terki a7is he is worried sick !

;**

RevealedSecrets said...

a777777777!! theres nothing worse than um it6ig bint'ha

Diet Coke said...

I hate her mom ;p

7aLeeB KaKaW said...

iksaraaaaaaaat 5a6rii 7araaaaaaaam... !!! ;(

Lost b2amreeka. said...

maskeeenaa!!! poor girl :( ksirat 5a6ryy!!

3anooda said...

oh oh - nothing good will come out of this

No0oDy said...

the day she spent with terki worth the slap on the face. i’ll spend 10 days nd take 10 slaps :p

no really its amazing how her life is going ups and downs. Poor jana :””(

Anonymous said...

maskeina umha she's sick worried 3la bentha! she feels like she cant control her life and things are blowing out of proportion

Terki should put things back together thats y hes a man saa7?

Silhouette Crime said...

her mom is freaking about her daughter,, bss wow the slap to the soul *ouch* >_<

waiting to what happens with terki

S said...

u're killing us..!
yalla atleast it happened o khalas.. wayid a3arf agi9 3ala 3umri

Tee said...

tistahel..

moi said...

anony: ee o mafe sha7an;\

anony2: ee 7dha poor thing:(

love: aww im so sorry, didnt mean to make u cry;**

revealed secrets: tell me about it!:O

diet coke: lool

7aleen kakaw: 7dha takser el5a6er;\

lost: ee;(

3anooda: :S:S:S:S

nooody: lool i think so too:P:P

anony: absolutely!

silhoete crime: soon enshallah;*

s: looool ;***

moi said...

tee: besmella, laishh?:P

Anonymous said...

shfeekom 3alaihaa?! ehya 9iij ellii sawita ghalaa6 oo 7adda mala da3ii etsafir ma3aa ! bass 3ad khala9 ellii 9ar 9ar ;/! oo ma7ad yestahil ellii 9arlahaa !

libero anima said...

ya7lailha .. she broke my heart

Starlight<3 said...

Awhh no =(

Maybe it was for the better, she was going to have to tell her mother the truth someday but I wish it wasn't in this way.

Post soon,

xx

Candy said...

ya3nee all the parts maye5al9oon ella 3ala el shay el moheem @@!
bser3a aba a3arf sho baytswee el 7een @_@i think i should read el salfa mn el bedaya mn awal post ^^

angel face said...

ambeeeeeeeee !! 7yatyyyyy... ;(

Anonymous said...

ween el next post elyoom :(

gam an6era tara :(

wink! said...

moii wala salfa mskeena tksr il5a6er where was farah when this hapnd.. it's shoosh btw jst changed the nick 4 now. :P

read
http://heregoesmyheart.blogspot.com

moi said...

anony: b3d 3mry entay;*

libero anima: ee;\

starlight: i know;s

candy: sorry:(

angel face: :(

anony: soon 7bebti lmma aftha i'll write it,promise;*

wink(shoosh): i liked shoosh more:P,farah still feels guilty:(

Anonymous said...

9ara7a lo ana 9are5 3ala omi wagola "i dont want to hear another word" chan yani mallion 6rag , ya3ni hathi mo 6areqa a7ad e7achi oma.. ma alomha 5ayfa 3alaich o matabeech tro7en eb seteen dahya , kafi legetich eb hal manthar... ya3ni mara7 t7atii ?!!?! kelshay will be better inshalah bes mal mafroth t3a9ben 3alaiha wela el mafroth tsme3en kalam ay a7ad egol "7aram, o maskeena ksrti 5a6ri" lana 5ala9 hatha shay 9ar o 6af o darss 7ag el mostaqbal..o hatha reaction ay om 5ayfa 3ala bent'ha.. mafroth enti eli tra'6eenha.

tee said...

'cause ma7ad galaha tkalma in the first place! etha 9ij yabeha yitqadamlaha, walla ma aloom omha..

Anonymous said...

moi chinna ta5artay 3laina shway .. nabe we know shinu i9eer ....
ur story fathhe33333a mashaalaa one of my fav

Anonymous said...

7ada we want to know shino ra7a yi9eer

love ;** said...

hun, you have been tagged ;**

fahad said...

kafo om 3abdilwahab;p
laish feeling guilty?