I don’t even remember sharing my number! My cheeks grew hot, now idea why I’m blushing.
*?* I send to make sure.
He waved. Oh my god he waved! In front of his folks. I waved back.
*ahlan!, 3ashat ayamik*
“ who’s that cupcake?” My friend asks
I giggle “ sa7? Long story magdr agol al7en”
* bil3afya* I send , suddenly feeling adventurous *what’s your name again?*
I saw him smiling while typing * afa! Mat3arfen esmi?. Esmi hamad and you are zeinah right?*
* right 😃* I send back.
It was true I forgot his first name. Hamad. Cute.
* elso2al el aham shino kalaitai?*
I giggled again * granola and yogurt, u?*
* baas? That’s not food , kil khair baith, khobiz , knt abi fool bs maybe3on*
I can’t stop smiling! Dammah khafeef! * eee abi ath3af*
* why?*
* because I’m over weight..*
* u serious? You’re fine * oh. He doesn’t think I’m fat?
* thank u lol*
And then we continued to text back and forth until he left with his family. I was smiling the whole entire time , I didn’t particularly feel any attraction towards him it was just that he made laugh and conversing with him was so effortles it was like talking to an old familiar friend.
When I went back home I felt oddly okay. Not exactly happy but okay. The heavy weight I felt on my chest for the hundred past days felt lighter , almost not there..it must be the anti depressants.
That night I decided to pass by my deceased grandmother’s old house. She passed away three years ago and it still hurt the same. I was her favorite grand child; I even looked like her and acted like her. My dad used to always say to me “ it’s like looking at my mother” , the resemblance was uncanny and I loved it , because I aspired to be like her , she was so classy and educated and generous and she loved her children and her country and people and life. I wanted to be like her in every way
The indian gate keeper opened the door for me and I went inside the huge old fashioned house, still looking the same, abandoned and untouched.
I went straight to my grandmother’s chamber ; I sat on her bed and smelled the sheets , it oddly still smelled like musk and shalimar ;her favorite scent. I fell asleep cocooned in her floral lacey bed sheets.
The next week went on a blur, I stopped receiving texts from Hamad and I totally forgot about him until that fateful night.
I went to Julaia, my cousin’s beach house to chill for the weekend , it was just us girls , the cousins and their closest friends. Just like the old times .
We were watching pulp fiction on a projector around the pool, the weather was warm and lovely and for a very long time I was actually empty headed, no dark thoughts , no happy thoughts. Just plain numbness and it was okay
“ el shalaih eli yam eli yamkom shalaih my crush” my cousin’s friend suddenly said
“ whoo?” The girls echoed
“ wa7id min ziman akhiza “ she giggled “ and Then I stalked his social media and found out stuff”
“ and?”
“ and I love him”
I laughed “ aww, sawai shy enzain! “
“ I don’t know mali khelg..”
“ let’s go walk jbal shalehom” my cousin suggested
“ noooo”
“ yes”
“ tara yeerana min sneen ma7ad ra7 yestaghrib”
And she finally conceded
So we went for a walk next to their beach house and luckily for her the boys were sitting outside , a bunch of them watching a soccer game ..
I didn’t look up because I honestly didn’t care to see anyone or be seen. So We walked passed them and my phone beeped with a text.
“ okh 6ala3ti yaratna “ -Hamad
