Wednesday, 28 December 2016


A stab of longing engulfed my heart. Oh how I wanted him to kiss me and hold me and tell me that everything was going to be alright, that he wanted only me and no one else. But the truth was different and this time I had enough my pride and heart were both deeply injured. Rejection is hard. It kills, and my desire for him was deeply unfulfilled , and that made me so desperate.

" No" I said. " stay away from me"

" dont make this hard Shaikha Im trying to apologize"

" Save it. I dont want one. Just leave me alone to sleep" 

He sighed in exasperation. "you will regret this"

FUCK OFF, I thought angrily. I was really starting to loathe him.

I tossed and turned at least for a couple of hours until exhaustion claimed me. I slept alone, without his annoying presence and I felt totally alone. I woke at five AM with a horrendous headache, I automatically reached for my phone and just like I'd expected, there was a whatsapp from race guy.

" awake?"

" I am now, are you?"

less than a minute later. " yes, wanna talk?"

" mmhm, tell me everything"

" can I call?"

" texts are safer.."

"okay.., enti min ziman 3ajbatni, unfortunately I didnt have the time to introduce myself, I went away for work and you got ni6arteni, and now it doesnt seem that you're happy, not judging, but after that fateful incident at the airplane, I was sure than you were not happy, I even thought you were divorced.. you've been on my mind since forever, for some reason dashaity kha6ri , cant stop pursuing you, and now that happened and I cant stop"

" what happened in the airplane I cant remember" I was panicking here, truly cant remember.

" nothing major, but you seemed sad and jilted. I couldnt believe I was given a second chance, tell me to stop and I will.."

his words were like a sweet balm to my broken heart, I couldnt resist, didnt want them to stop. " and now what do you want?"

" are you happy?"

" no, he doesnt love me but he wont give me divorce either"

" hmm, seperated?"

" yes, I'm sure I dont want to talk or see him ever again"

" I dont want to make this even harder. "

" you're not. I need a friend, without judgment"

" I can be that"

" a friend only. no more"

" fair enouh, friends can meet for coffee, come to my office at 5?"

I had nothing to lose. " yes. goodnight"

" goodnight"

strangely enough I slept soundly til one PM. He wasnt around, at work probably..good, I had wicked plans with another man. I still cant believe that I'm letting myself talk to someone else, its considered cheating right? oh, but I was lonely..

I spent my entire day trying to relax, with shows, magazines and home spa but deep down I was nervous as hell. the whole meeting him at his office sounded sordid, I was a married woman for god's sake.

I dont know if I should go...