Tuesday, 17 February 2009

broken dreams(25)

* im so sorry janoon, I love you, I know you're crying now, I feel terrible, we shouldn’t have fought, I didn’t mean it when I said you should leave him, you shouldn’t leave him!, you guys are great together, I love you both. But I still think you should tell him. Please give me a call.* farah messaged me after two hours.

I threw the phone away; I was still angry and hurt. She shouldn’t have talked to me like that. Maybe she was right but the way she said it was awful and it did hurt me.

I couldn’t sleep; I was in a very bad, very complicated situation. I couldn’t confront Terki, but I couldn’t ignore him either.

The next couple of days were utter hell; I avoided Farah and Terki completely. I knew that he felt how distant I was because he called me earlier today to inform me that he'll be coming for a visit; I expected that since I couldn’t possibly ignore my husband to be forever!

I took a quick shower and poured myself into a gray shirt dress. I gasped when I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, I looked like a junkie! I applied two layers of concealer , a bit of mascara and labello chapstick which did no use since I STILL looked like shit.

I didn’t have the energy to dry my hair so I brushed it wet, I was about to lie on bed since brushing my hair alone left me exhausted when my phone rang and his name appeared on the screen. " aloo" I almost whispered.

"hala 7ayati , ana ta7at" he said.

I gathered my strength and made my way downstairs, I took a deep breath and entered the living room. I smiled involuntarily when I saw his stunning figure sitting on the corner sofa; I even forgot how beautiful he was.

He stood up when he saw me and gave me one of his bone crushing hugs, I didn't hug him back, I just couldn’t.

"Are you okay?" he said, brushing a wet strand of my hair off of my face.

" y-yeah, why?"

" are you kidding me? jana where were you? Laish 7agra my calls o my messages?! Are you sick 7abebti? You're so pale!" his pierced eyes examined me.

" im sorry, bas I got my..you know" I smiled weakly.

" oh..oh sorry" he blushed " do you feel better now?"

"Much better" I lied.

He laughed.

" so every time you get your period , you'll ignore me?" he raised an eyebrow.

" hehe no, bas this once because um it was a bad one!"

He brushed my cheek. "I've missed you…wifey"

"Me more 7abebi, me more" I said, suddenly my eyes filled with tears.

"shaklech t3bana , do you want me to go?" he sounded really concerned.

"no, please stay" I touched his hand.

He picked me up and sat me on his lap "I hate to see you like this" he whispered into my ears.

I hate it too. My inner voice said.

Later that night he tucked me in bed and waited at my bedside until I drifted off to sleep. Which killed me the most because he didn’t know the truth, poor thing; he thought I was sick and needed him by my side.

The next day my wedding dress was delivered to my house. I was asleep when my mother knocked on my door. " janoona 7abebti your wedding dress we9al" my mother's excited voice came behind the door.

" Mhm" I groaned.

She opened the door and let herself in " yalla yumma gomay , gaysay el nafnoof 5anshofa 3alaich!"

" mama mabyyy banaaam!"

"Aren’t you excited?!" she asked. NO. I thought.

" mama I already tried it on bel ma7al" my sleepy voice muttered.

" el7een '3air! 3ogeb mathabe6oh! Yalla goomay warrai your mom!" she insisted.

" fine.. huff , bas 5al agoom a'3asel!"

I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. After washing my face and brushing my teeth I headed back to my room. She was sitting on the bed. " there you are!" she grinned "yallah wareeni!"

I took off my pajama and put the dress on " mama help me out" I demanded.

I poured myself into the dress, she zipped it closed for me and adjusted the fabric at the cleavage. " 7elo bas yabelech push up bra, chenich wayed tha3fana?" she frowned.

She was right; I did lost tons of weight.

" bas still esh7alatech, you're like the most beautiful bride bel denia" her eyes teared up.

" aww mama , ofcourse you'll say that im your daughter" I hugged her.

She hugged me back tighter and I started crying too. Not because I was touched, but because I wanted to wear this dress so badly and attend my wedding as Terki's bride.

Two days later I received a message from Terki *I need to see you ASAP*

*y dunt u cum 2 ma house?* I sent him back.

* No, cum to our usual café* okay this is strange, I thought.

* Sure*

I put on a track suit and drove as fast as I could to our café, he was already there.

" hi baby" I sat down before him.

He didn’t say a word, and from the black circles around his eyes I could tell that he was very tired.

" are you okay? is it your heart again?!" I almost yelled. I was panicking.

He shook his head. " jana, I want you to listen to me carefully okay?"

I nodded. Something was wrong I knew it.

" you are the most beautiful, most generous, decent human being I've ever met, you're the only one who convinced my heart to fell in love with you , you're the only one I'll ever love. I know you are strong enough to.."

" why are you saying this?" my lips trembled.

" please let me finish, please" he begged. His eyes were so red.

" the last thing I want to do is break your heart, I swear , entay 7abebti o 7ayati o kel shay, you're literally my everything. Im so sorry my baby, im so sorry I cant marry you , adry betgolin ana mu rayal , im so not proud of what im doing bas magdar a3eesh with the fact that my brother is in love with you, jana I cant marry the girl my brother loves"

" your brother loves?!! WHAT ABOUT ME??!!" I cried "you can't leave me and go, maby maby!!" I clung tightly to his shirt; I was so shocked to even realize what I was doing.

" jana please" he said " please understand"

"UNDERSTAND WHAT?!!! OUR WEDDING IS IN A WEEK!!! YOU BASTARD" I yelled. He shut my mouth with his hand and dragged me out of the café.

" gethbay elsanich!" he yelled back at me " you're making a scene!"

"fuck that!!! I DON’T GIVE A FUCK, please don’t leave me" I collapsed in his arms.

He was so shocked. He carried me to his car, opened the passenger's seat and sat me on it.

" jana please don’t do this" he said " I've been thinking about the whole thing for the past two days and it literally killed me, jana s3ood e7ebich, how can I be around him with you as my wife?!!! Golely shlon!!! Shlon basawy eb o5oy chethy?!!"

I said nothing I just stared at him with huge tears in my eyes. Did I see this coming? No. did I see him like this before? No. he looked literally tormented, he even had tears in his eyes. I smiled at him and "sure" unexpectedly poured from my mouth. I opened the passenger's door and made my way to my car, leaving him behind just like he wanted.

when I got into my car I texted Farah *be happy , ely tabena 9ar*


Lilo said...

did ma7ad comment? is ma7ad up ghairi?! am i first? i'm afraid to post ilcomment now @@ okay okay i'll take the chance, wait right here! brb!

Anonymous said...

im sure its not fara7 tat told him ;/

moi said...

lilo: lel2asaf i cant sleep;\!! so yeah me and u r the only ones ely awake!

moi said...

and anonymous awake weyana:D! farah would never do such thing;p

Lilo said...

omg! la2 7abeebti maskeena that was so heart wrenching! 7mar terki *i7thifs phone 3alaih* i don't care itha ukhooh loves her, ihya shthanbha! uff :(

sexy_sour_sweet said...


moi said...

lilo: loool ur so cute!, yeah he was a bastard;\

sexy sour sweet: i know:( !!!

FourMe said...

alah y3eenich :(

moi said...

fourMe: allah y3en everyone;\

bananaPie said...

7ada ghala6 eli ga3yseer!

yahal o yibe6on alchabd
ambai sorry bas yenarfezon shwaya 3alaihom

Anonymous said...

AMBAAAAAAAAI WTH ambai kilshai ga3ed yeser ghala6ghala6 heffffffffffff masadig chethi eykanselon kelishai eb kel berod 3ala salfa matswa staqfrelaa yenarfez

Anonymous said...

enzain 7a6ait athnaina why not a third? ;p hehehe


moi said...

banana pie: hathela kelehom u?:P loool, hi :D

E said...

so unexpected!
he doesnt love her enough y3ni or is he too nice to sacrifice his love?

No0oDy said...

hate s3ood even more :@

7aLeeB KaKaW said...

ya alaaaaaaaah.. !!!! waaiii333.. laish chthii ya raaabiii !!! uuuggghhh !!!

3anooda said...

shako i cant be around my brother because hes in love with u??

Silhouette Crime said...

Daaamn! Who told him? S3od or fara7 ? If it was fara7 how low ! Ayyyy gaalby tga6a3 !

Cinderella said...

No nooo noooo this is not supposed to happen!

Anonymous said...

LAAAAAAAAAAA! they were supposed to get married!

Um Mit3ib said...

s3ood 7mar.

Um Mit3ib said...

ba3dain saber

3ala ay asas sod i7ibha?? solaf ma3aaaha? shes his best friend? 3ALA AY ASAS! he just likes how she looks hatha esamoona i3jab mo 7ub yal athwal!

ifft... i7irny el ghaba'

ĐǻñĎõøðñ said...

i have tears in my eyes =(
and that doesnt happen alot =\

why cant things work out for these two =(

Gutter Flower said...

100% agree with Um Mit3ib.. 3ala AY ASAAAAAAS?? ma9adeg thats so saaad!! bs 9ij mawqef Terki 5ara y3ni... shit janaaa t3awer il gaaaaaaaaaaalb dmooo3 fi 3ainy that was so sad!! ='(

[MaDry-Shakw~] said...

Al7eeeeen Screw S3ood ! intaa t7ebha :@!

Huff Ana Tnarfaaazt !:P

Starlight<3 said...


If it was Farah who told him, I swear I'll .. well technically since it's a story I can't really do anything to her but I'll be angry if it was :P

I hate s3oud with every particle in my body, he ruined one of the most adorable couples =(

He will pay! ;P

I love the ending of the post, I'm glad she didn't show him she was weak, she can go through this :)


Anonymous said...

ambeeh s3ood ananee !!!!

ya3ni bafham eth afarag'hom shino beseer !! he's gona take jana mathalan ?? o ba3deen how could he !! break his brother's heart and jana's !!! elmafroth ena y7ebha elmafrooth yabe sa3adat'ha !!!!

tara men sij me7tara .. like jad jad jaad me7tara @

Zaina said...


way i7ir i7ir!
law siiij i7ibha chan masawa chthii!

7abeebtiii fara7, ksarat kha6riii, ya3nii it was a moment of heat! akeed bitgoul 7ag jana wat she said. god..

alllaah yahuu 7arnii hal terkiii.
masadag 3ala alllaah fal ilkhi6ba.
apparently saud was right. he always leaves his woman.. yom galaha bil car..

libero anima said...

im literally crying ..
i cannot even start to imagine what you went through .. how u felt .. omg .. my heart hurts just reading about it ..
ya rabee .. why is life so unfair ?

Anonymous said...

turky jombazy :@

moi said...

E: madryyy all i know enna 7adda enarfez:@!

nooody: 7aqeer:@

7aleeb kakaw: ;\

3anooda: ya3ny wayed 6ayeb;\

silhoete crime: not farah;p, esmella 3la ur heart;*

cinderella: they supposed to get married:(

sugar: SUPPOSED;\

um mit3ib: eshdarany 3anna hal mashfoo7 5arrab el denia:@

dandooon: aww im sorry:(

moi said...

gutter flower: kelehom '3ala6!!! poor jana:(

madry shakw: ana asfa:P

starlight: ee 7adha mara lmma 9arat strong;p

anony: ana ba3ad kan wedy azne6a:@, haddai a39abich;*

zaina: ur right!! chenna ma9adag 3la 6ool fal el 5e6ba;\!!!

libero anima: unfortun. it is unfair:)

anony: looooooool, sheno y3ny?;p

engineera said...

firtss , am new heree ! o 7adaa i liked ur story aw exactly the way you writee ;* simplee i love you ;$$ !!

o secondd ! abeeee its not faiiirr , how this happend !!!! how terkii dare !! howwwwwww!! poorr janaaaa!!

plzz next postt !! can't waiiitt to read it

y576 said...

pls we want another post ASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP..IM DYINGGG

N1/2 said...

poor thing;s

engineera said...

Simply ;*

srry hehe!! ;p

wink! said...

3awrni galbi:(

Limited said...

theyre both wrong in this! why cant s3ood let his brother be happy??????? and why cant terki think of working it out????

walla galby 3warny 3laihm =( MEN -.-

S said...

officially, aqwa post 9ijy i've ever read..
Terki wtf?
plz let it be a happy ending :( and if not, 7sabi ma3ahum ba3dain!

moi said...

enginera: awwww i love u too;**, soon:D

y576:laish dying?!! esmella 3laiach;*

n1\2: 7adhom:\

enginera: lool;*

wink: aww esmella 3la ur heart;*

limited: men 7adhom 5araa!!!!:@:@

s: loooooooooooooooool, e9er 5air;*

Captivated said...

uff!!!! umbai 7asait ana i got heartbroken mo ehya!! umbai! he just left her! ufff ufff ufff!!! i mean kesar kha6re enna that much e7eb ukho oo eli sawa was right mn na7yat brotherly love.. bss shlon he left her!

Anonymous said...

Abaiiiih NOT FAIIIIIIIIIIR laykoon tyeela heart attack wla shay :S:S:S!! Tara 7adna mo nag9eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen


P.S amazing story ;**

love ;** said...


she has been through enough, she does not deserve this. I understand where he is coming from bs ehya ishthanbha itha his brother is in love with her!


Candy said...

what the ??????????
a7la best friend wallah :@