Unsuitable 8

Okay this was a rollercoaster ride, not just this, our whole relationship , I barely had time to catch my breath , everything was moving too fast and I was already in too deep, I couldn’t save myself. 

I sat up on the bed and pretended to text when I heard him exiting the bathroom. “ ha zayon, na6lib 3asha?” 

I blushed, how could he be so cool about all of this. I was still shaking from our steamy encounter. “ ee 3adi” 

“ shno 3adi, shno mishtahya?” 

You…“ I don’t know, pizza?” 

He checked the app “ taben san ristorante? Their pizza is good” 

“ yes, okay” 

“ done, ta3alai nig3ad bl living room” 

We go sit on his posh sofa , in front of the smart tv. I settled close to his gorgeous arm, so dark and large next to my fair , small one. I put my head against his shoulder, I couldn’t help it, I needed to be closer to him. 

He kissed my head. “ I love your smell, a7isich bukhoora tamshi, wayid khaneena” 

I smiled. I better buy more of this Bukhoor. “ so shno n6ali3?”

“ want to watch Al pacino movies?” He loved Al Pacino , he told me how much he loved watching all things Al pacino growing up. 

“ scarface! Widi ashofa”

“ allaaah. Btw, Michelle Pfeiffer reminds me of you in that movie, the blonde hair, the lips ..” 

Omg really? “ noo she’s too gorgeous” 

“ don’t sell yourself short, you’re gorgeous too” 

I kissed his cheek on an impulse. “ don’t” he warned. We ate the pizza while watching Al Pacino and Michelle Pfeiffer ,it was all so dreamy. And I went home with his favorite race sweater that smelled so deliciously of him. 

I couldn’t believe my luck , the guy was too perfect and ours was one epic love story. I mean he cared about every detail about me… he even put softer tissues in his car because one time I hurt my nose with a hard tissue. 
One day He got so busy with work all week and went to his dowaniya everyday and left late , I slept without talking to him And I missed him so much because I got used to us being together all the time and We ended up having a row , he said that I was suffocating him and I was being too clingy I was shocked and I cried and hung up and he apologized with a long text asking me to forgive him and that he didn’t mean it and that he missed me more. The girls were coming to my place at around 8 that night and I was feeling too low about our fight. He called me at 7 asking me to meet him him. “ I’m in your area , I need to see you for a minute” 
I got into his car , my heart in my throat. “ here, your favorite chocolate croissant” he presented me with my favorite pain au chocolate and a coffee and a small bouquet of peonies , my favorite flowers. I teared up. “ wai a7ibik wayid wayid, walaht 3lek wayid wayid” 
“ me too o mo qasdi aza3lich , you’re my whole life zeinah , you’re my priority now..” 
After that amazing night I told the girls about him and they were all happy for me , I think. 
Something happened that night, I didn’t know what but he never called. I called him 4 times with no answer and then I slept , thinking he was busy with work or whatever. 
I woke up the next morning with a heavy heart, and a single text from him. “ when you wake up , call me we need to talk” 
My heart was pounding, this didn’t feel right, I knew something was wrong. 
“ aloo” I croaked , my voice panicky 
“ hala zeinah, this is the phone call you’ve been dreading” 
What? “ shino y3ni?” 
“ I think this is it” 
“ what do you mean?!”
“ I’m leaving for new york and I-“
“ I can come!”
“ no, I’m not ready”
“ but but you said that-“
“ I didn’t mean it Zeinah I’m sorry I’m shaking right now, I’m”
“Why?? What the fuck happened, you said you-“ 
“ I’m sorry, ana a7is eni makhnog akhthar minich I swear” 
“ you lied to me , you did all of these amazing things for what??? Was it all an act???”
“ No I swear Zeinah I love you, I haven’t known this feeling with anyone but you..”
“ but you’ve had enough”
“ no.. Zeinah our families they don’t-“
“ they don’t what?”
“ Zeinah your mother and my mother “
“ I can’t change my parents” I said hoarsely , I was getting trouble breathing 
“ baby I’m sorry”
“ you know what Musaed? Goodbye and goodluck” 
I hung up and crashed my phone against the wall , crying so hard right now, I could barely breathe. Shit, I think I’m dying  

Unsuitable 7

“ you’re so beautiful” he murmured while licking on my lips, and then before I could say something back he kissed me hard again while holding my head with his both hands. I was in his lap while he was on the driver’s seat, how the hell did that happen? Gues that’s a perk of being too small. “ I can’t move” I say against his lips

“ I’m sorry” he breaks our legendary kiss. “ want to go in the back?” 

I shouldn’t… “yes” 

We go sit in the back seat, me in his lap again. He kissed my nose “ love these freckles” and each eye and then he moved to my lips again, gentler this time.  

But that wasn’t enough I needed more. 

“ kiss me harder” I was totally slutty with him   

And he did kiss me , a lot. He eventually pulled away. “ fuck. You need to get off my lap.. you’re hurting me” 

“ oh”

“ if you don’t move away I might do something I’d regret” 

I blush. “ okay” 

He adjusted himself and went back to the driver seat. We stayed silent until I was at my beach house’s door. I was drained ..

“ I would have you all night” he whispered. My insides clutched so hard. Shit I was in love and lust, if only I could be in bed with him. 

“Goodnight Musaed” 

I went straight to my bedroom, curled in bed, not bothering to brush my teeth or wash my face. Spent. And in 10 minutes I was out. 

The next morning I woke drenched in sweats , I’ve been having sexy dreams all night about him. Damn that was a first. 

There was a couple of missed calls from him , I sent a good morning text and went to get ready for breakfast. 

I woke up in a good mood today, I felt loved and desired. I felt beautiful. The rest of the day was a blur , I drove home later on that afternoon , thinking about him all day. 

I was in love. I missed him when he didn’t text, I missed him while talking to him, it was insane, I wanted to be with him 24 hours if that wasn’t love I don’t know what is. 

Later on that evening we agreed on meeting. We couldn’t stay away from one another, it was ridiculous. I put on a leather jacked over my lululemons and a tank top. My hair in a ponytail. I didn’t wear makeup this time. 

We met in the free trade zone  (his suggestion) I refused at first but he told me he would show me something unforgettable. We sat on a bench in front of the sea and I was blown away. It was beautiful… and cold. I was shivering. He moved to sit closer to me , wrapping his arm around mine “ baby, you want my jacket?” 

“ no akhaf testabrid” 

He pulled me closer , I put my head against his shoulder, marvelling at the beauty that was the view before us. 

“ I can’t stop thinking about kissing you” 

I giggled “ fe nas tra” shockingly there was 

“ not here, I have an idea” 

He drove us to the parking of his house. This guy kept shocking me. 

 “ Abaaaih Musaed what if your parents saw us??”

“ no one at home” 

“ ga3id etbadi3”

 “ adry bs enti yananteni” 

“ ma sawait shy” 

A7ib wayhich bedon makeup” 

Those words again. Damn.  

“ you wanna come to my room? I fantasized about you in my bedroom btw..”

Omg. “ stop it..”

But I didn’t want him to stop… he was a smooth talking gorgeous addicting specimen

We stepped into the elevator leading to his bedroom. And he got closer to me, placing his hands on my butt cheeks “ I’ve always wanted to kiss in an elevator” shit. 

“ yeah?” Now I do too. That slutty talk again. 

“ fuck” he swears and bends down to claim my mouth in his. We kissed all the way to his living room , he picked me up and threw me over his sofa. “ fuck I want you” 

I was shocked of my body’s reaction to his. It was electrifying , it wasn’t enough , I wanted him on me, in me everywhere around me. 

But I had to stop. “ Musaed ..” I touched his shoulder. 

“ yes? “

“ we uh we have to stop” 

“ why?” He asked

“ because.. uh because I can’t sleep with you” 

“ oh , I won’t do something you don’t want” 

“ I want you to stop “ 

“ you sure?”

“ yes” 

“ ok , excuse me “ he went to the toilet and I lied down on my back panting. 

 

Unsuitable 6

It was new year’s eve and I was gonna spend it in Mina Abdullah, our beach house. I was preparing my overnight bag when he called. “ hala zayonti” 

“ hala habebi” 

“ shbetswen elyom?” 

“ shaleh m3a ahali o enta?”

“ oh .. wallah nothing, wain shalehkom?” 

I tell him the exact location.  “no party?” i teased 

“ you know I don’t party” 

Well thank god…

I hung up and went down to the kitchen when I see my mother. 

“ daraitay? Bint khaltich ghalia enkha6bat , mashallah egolon ehy t3rfa.. shofy min khathat wani3m elrijal “ 

“Oh mashallah, allah ewafegha”

“ wenti 3alamich?” 

What? 

“ laish m7d eyey e6ig elbab  o lamma a7d eyey tarfitheen?”

“ yumma shl kalam b3d ma nasiboni” 

“ etha t3rfen a7d goleli.. shkobrich sirty mnti sghera elreyayel mayabon w7da kbera tra” 

Oh fuck it. My mom was so damn old fashioned and annoying we’ve never gotten along 

“ yumma b3d ma yani niseeb shaswi” 

“ 6eya7 el7ath shlon gayel t3lmi min ghalia” 

I decided to shut it. It wouldn’t end well. I was more of a daddy’s girl, he was the softest, kindnest parent and I loved him to death, my mother not so much.. she was an old fashioned lady who married young and stayed at home to raise the kinds after graduating college. She disapproved of my choices. Being a 30 year old unmarried woman, while the rest of the girls in the family (younger than me) married with children. 

I loved my mother don’t get me wrong, we just don’t get along. 

I thought of Musaed. Would he pop the question? Did he want to marry me? I was to afraid to ask. 

That marriage thing kept me thinking all day, and I ended up having anxiety and a foul mood. I felt so low and so uncertain , why did she affect me so much? It was before 12 am, when I went to the bathroom to cry a little, the gathering was causing me more anxiety , what with ghalia getting married and eveyone presurring me to do something about my unmarried state. 

When I got out of the bathroom it was 12 and my phone was ringing. Musaed. 

I went outside to talk to him. “ hi” 

“ hi, happy new year”

“ happy new year” 

“Shfech?”

“ shfeni? “

“ your voice” 

“ ma feeni shay really” 

“ okay , wainich?” 

“ bl shaleh”

“ ee bra wla dakhil?”

“ bra obviously “ 

“ come outside” 

“ are you serious? Musaed noooo” 

“ yes” 

And I did!!  He was here! 

I went outside in the chilly december night , and their was his car. My throat clogged with unshed tears, damn I adored him. 

I got in the car and he drove us away“ i’ve missed you zayon” he reached for my hand and raised my fingers to his lips , kissing each finger. 

My heart fluttered. “ me too” 

He suddenly stopped the car, turned off the engine and looked at me. 

“ come here” 

I put my head on his chest , he was so warm and smelled soapy and amazing , I hated most heady men cologne, his was something else. 

He was in a dark dishdasha , his hair so thick and beautiful, his olive skin contrasting his amazingly white teeth , I loved every detail. 

He planted soft kisses over my head , smoothing my hair back slowly. “ shfeech?” 

“Nothing really” I whispered, chocking back on tears. 

“ tell me, galbi e3awerni laman ashofich z3lana” 

“ its nothing, inner struggles”

“ you don’t have to struggle alone”. 

“ it’ll be fine” 

“ ra7 tgoleli eventually ok?”

“ ok” I lied. 

“ zayoona.. Kil mra ashofich feha kan wdi I kiss you, enti tadren ahkithir I’m attracted to you , adry enich tadren.. bes ana ni6art 3shan tkon our first kiss memorably, emswi 7araka y3ni bil new year” he brushed his thumb against my lower lip. 

I giggled and blushed crimson red but he was already getting close, kissing the corner of my mouth and whispering “ I love your laugh, and your teeth and your smile” 

He kissed my upper lip and then the lower before sucking both in his mouth while murmuring things I didn’t care to catch and then everything happened so fast..I was on his lap my tongue interwined in his and  the whole universe illuminated with tiny butterflies…. 

Shit. 

Unsuitable 2

We locked eyes …and boy was it scorching .. his eyes were so black and so serious , he reminded me of someone.. a movie star maybe, I couldn’t recall , my heart was pounding so hard, the piece of bread stuck in my throat. 

And then it was over. He looked away, leaving me bereft. Was this real? Was I turned on? Was this pure lust? I could feel a bead of sweat trickling down my back. Ew. 

“ Musaed , pass the salt” oh what a beautiful name. 

“ Muased and zeina” I try the names together in my head

“Zayon, what’s the name of that diet watchers company? Tharori rejeem b3d el safra” my friend says

“ hmm? Um ee I’ll instagram it to you”

“ shoug , 9 o’clock the guy in white” sarah my other friend whispers “ he’s staring”

I gulp. He is. 

“ so um tell me about him”

“ he’s mysterious elsaraha bes I know that he’s rarely ever in kuwait he manages his businesses in new york , mashallah multi millionaire, he’s 35, hmm what else eeh ma ya36i waih so don’t try”

“ shabi feh bes legafa” I lied “ so laish only foreign girls?” 

“ ymkn ma e7ib local girls”

“ 7aselaaah” shoug chimes in 

i laugh 

We finish dinner and the music gets louder and the whole place goes dim and lovely. I want to dance , I need to move..

So I start to sway a little in my seat and then I get up and move my hips and suddenly I’m putting on a show while my friends clap and cheer , all the while mr sexy staring and smokes his cigar and smokes and smokes ..

I’m all sweaty and giddy , I reach for a glass of sparkling water , and look at Musaed, he’s whispering in the woman’s ear. Ok , Maybe I imagined the whole staring contest thing. Screw him.

It was past 2 Am , I was exhausted, my Gianvito Rossi heels were killing me and I needed to lie down“ ha mishaina?”

“ yalla , ma a7ib as’har ziada , 3ashan engom early bachir “ my friend says. 

So we leave the restaurant and Musaed behind. 

….

I don’t see him after that for the next 3 days. On the 4th day a miracle happens.. my toilet stops working and I go down to talk to the reception about it, I look my absolute worst , very pale ( I have iron deficiency) and I was in my horrendous lounge wear ( a worn out pale gray cotton set with a matching robe) 

I was in a heated argument with the receptionist for being a complete asshole about the whole toilet situation when I hear him. 

“ law samahti , 3afwan.. you can use my bathroom” 

Omg. What? Omg .. 

“ oh laa laa 3adi enshallah esal7ona, wai fashla” I giggle nervously , cringeing so hard on the inside. Omg zeina you disgusting thing. If there was a chance of him ever wanting me this was the end of it. 

“ I’m serious you and your friend can use it, afa bs” 

I end up actually using his bathroom and holy shit he appearantly resides in the presidential suite. So fancy , I want to shower in his bathroom..

So I thank him and say goodbye forefever. 

But the universe had other plans …

“ that was quite the performance last night’”

Omg. Really???? 

I laugh “ thank you” 

“ extraordinary “

Omg he thinks I’m extraordinary 

“ here’s my business card, if you need anything” 

Oh. “ text me, I suddenly say” I was being slutty, too forward.. but there wasn’t time to play hard to get, we’re leaving in a couple of days. 

He smiles. And his whole face lights up.. he was gorgeous, softer when he smiled, his face almost boyish. 

“ i will” he says and hands me his phone to write down my number. 

My hands shaking, I carefully type my number and hands him back the phone. 

Omg omg it’s done!! 

Unsuitable 5

He walked me to my car and I noticed how tall he was , almost six feet making me feel so small and vulnerable in my mere 5 feet 1 inch height. How easily  he could crush me..

He was in dishdasha and ghutra, his work attire, he didn’t have time to change , yet he looked and smelled amazing . He had a lovely beauty mark near his lip that reminded me of Wael Kufouri’s and another one on his neck. I visualized putting my lips over it. My attraction to him was insane. 

He opened my car door for me and I pumbed into his hard body “ deerai balich bil darb zeinah..” I wished that he would kiss me. He brushed my arm and stepped away. 

Damn it. 

I drove the whole way home listening to Wael Kufori 

I spent the entire night talking to him, sweet nothings until 3 in the morning , we were both late to work but we were giddy with the feeling of a new love and little sleep. He woke me in the morning with a beautiful text “ ma tetwaqe3ain shkithir wujodich sa3ada eb 7ayati 7aleyan, wayid minshiri7 minich, hl shu3or ma yenshara b floos, min zimam ma 7asait eb hl e7sas”

“ aww thats so sweet, sij sij sabah alkhair!” 

“ gumt ad3i b kil salat enna allah etamim” 

Oh my god was that too soon? “ allah etamim 3lek minshiri7 with or without me”

“ with you enshallah”

That was how our relationship went for the next 4 weeks, he would send me gorgeous flowers every week.. buy me foods that I love, talking to me all day and all night. We got so close in such a short time and I knew deep down that fast things end fast yet I didn’t slow down I was already in too deep. 

He took me to the track and I rode in the car with him, it was crazy fast and I cried and he found it adorable and hugged me hard and kissed my helmet covered head. That was a first real touch between us. He never tried to touch me, not even my hand before. When it was over I sat over his gorgeous one of a kind race car while he was standing before me, his hands on my hips. 

“ estanastay?” 

“ I’d rather watch you , ma ra7 arkb weyak again!” 

He laughed “ eshda3waaah wallah mu dayis 3ashanich” 

“ kil hatha mu dayis!”

“ taben nerkab o a3lmch shlon adoos?” He joked 

“ erkab bro7ik” 

He laughed “ you make me laugh so much, I love you” 

He blurted out so fast that we both got startled 

“ I… I think I do” 

“ Muased…. It’s so soon .. maybe you’re infatuated “ 

“ infatuated b3d shno, bagolich shy ana ma 7set b hl e7sas min zman , astanis m3ach o olah 3lech o a6la3 min eldowaneya 3ashan aklmch le lma tnamen o lma tnamen olah 3lech wayid o akhaf 3lech o a7ateech o you’re the only thing I think about! Literally the only fucking thing. La tgoleli infatuated yl 7aqeera just accept it”. Oh wow 

“ I ..I think I love you too and.. I’ve always been an independent woman I didn’t need anyone but now please take care of me I’m so tired of doing it alone, can you do that?”

“ yes baby. I can and I will” 

And at that moment I let my guard down and decided to trust him. 

Unsuitable 4

It’s been a very long time since I last dated… I spent the whole day preparing starting with my hair and nails. I decided to paint them a classic red and blow dry my blonde locks. I even shopped for a new outfit…I settled for a sleevless black dress, with black valentino studded chunky flats and a mini bag. I looked expensive. I wore a pair of ruby studs and a watch, keeping it minimal. I didn’t cover my freckles with foundation this once, he told me he loved them..

We met in a this empty sushi place. I’m so glad that he changed his mind about coffee and decided to go for dinner instead. It was a legit date. 

“ yah yah yah, shl zain..zeinah” he said and I laughed, blushing.  So precious. 

“ thank you , bi3yonik”

“ atwaqa3 bi3yon elkil bs ana 7aleyan mas7oor” 

“ really?”

“I thought about you a lot”

“ but you never texted”

“ I was caught up with family and work.. I swear”

“ I understand. What do you want from me? Tell me..”

“ I want to be with you..”

“ but .. but I heard things about you”

“ ask me. I’ll never lie to you”

“ is it true that you date models?”

He smiled “ no”

“ but-“

“ trust me. I have nothing to hide, I have friends of partners abroad and they require entertaining , it’s just work. “

“ okay..”

“ what else?”

“ why aren’t you married yet?”

“ I almost did once. Mallah kitab.. why aren’t you?”

“ it’s different for us girls..”

“ were you ever with someone?”

“ who hasn’t?”

“ what would you do if I told you that I’m leaving for new york for a year?”

“ I would .. miss you”

“ why not ask me to take you with?”

“ is- is that a possibility?”

“ Yes”

Oh my god. This guy wants a seriously relationship with me!! 

“ Zeinah , I had my eyes on you min ziman.. shiftich min ziman, bs dashaiti galbi lma regasti , wayid damich khafef o wayid 6abi3iya” 

Dying here. DYING 

And then we talked for hours and the time went by so fast I almost felt sad that our date ended so soon. I now know that he was the eldest, had two sisters , one my age , the other older and married. He was close to his father. He loved the dessert (shocking). He owned stables and other less interesting stuff. He asked me if I wanted to ride a horse and told me that he was a racer. That he raced in kuwait and the gulf sometimes. He loved speed and everything about cars. Sexy. 

He asked me to join him in the track! To watch him race and get in the car with him! The idea was so dangerous and exciting I eventually said yes. 

“ I would risk you being seen by my race buddies… “ he said. 

“ noo akhaf a7d e3arifni!”

“ don’t worry we won’t take your helmet off”

“ can I have a pink one”

“ done. But I have to measure you head” he smiled 

I blushed. 

It was perfect. He was perfect

Unsuitable 3

I itched to text him. It was 8 hours later, we were heading to dinner and no text or call from him. I was disappointed I didn’t want to initiate. I confided in shouq, the one closest to me in our group and she gave me her blessing. “ girl you’re lucky that guy is unattainable, I know this friend of a friend who tried and got rejected and I heard that he jilted his one true love right after promising to marry her.. be careful or be smart, don’t get attach to him, enjoy him and then leave him “

The only problem is that I love a challenge and the second problem is that I hardly ever like someone this much. I don’t know what it was that drew me to him beside his looks. 

“ he didn’t text, should I?” i finally asked my friend 

“ please do, you’ve been distracted throughout dinner, you barely ate a thing, kesarti kha6ri” 

“ oh shut up, I’m just so full from breakfast” I lied

And I did.

“ hello :)” I sent

No answer. Until 3 am when I was in bed unable to sleep. 

“ halla walla “

“ you’re awake..” I texted  barely a minute later. Loser. 

“ ee wallah ..enti shemga3dich?”

“ had too much caffeine “

“ bil 3afya , can you call?”

Sure!! “ yes” 

And then he called me and I almost swooned. I loved his voice, it’s too rough and his accent was just like my late grandfather’s , I adored it, he belonged in a different time.. in the sixties I thought. And said something about it and he laughed ,he told me that he was close to his grandfather and that he always corrected his speech that what made him sound so ancient . And what surprised me the most was that he was so old fashioned. I thought he was too fancy but deep down he wasn’t .. he preferred wearing a dishdasha over the clothes (that didn’t fit) earlier he said that he lived his life abroad because of his work but he longed to settle in kuwait and I loved that. He was perfect. 

“ ma a7ib atkalam englaizi” he says to me and I laughed because I do a lot. I can’t help it.

“ btw your freckles are very attractive” he said. 

“ m-my freckles?” i hated them so much!!!! 

“ yes the other day. You were beautiful”

“ laa I was tried I usually look better please don’t judge haha”

“ you looked pretty amazing” 

Omg I’m dying inside… he thought I looked amazing 

“ thank you” my heart was pounding and no idea why I felt like tearing up. 

And then he had to go and I was leaving the next day. 

“ ra7 arja3 el kuwait 7g shahar, we’ll meet enshallah, if you need anything let me know”

I went back home , back to my normal non glamurous routine. Work, gym, the ocassional coffee outing and chalet in the weekends. In the beginning he barely ever texted and I stopped trying. 

But one day he called me before bedtime out of nowhere after 2 weeks of nothing and I picked up, because I couldn’t not to..

“ hala zeina” 

“ hala Musaed” my face was hot. 

“ how are you , ma agdr a6awil 3lech but can you have coffee with me tomorrow?”

“ yes” my voice was shaking. 

“ great, I’ve to go..sweet dreams”