Friday, 29 April 2011

My name is Nouf (17)

Nouf stared at her phone mindlessly, waiting for her phone's alarm o'clock to announce her waking up, in ten minutes she was to rise up from bed, dress up and start her ordinary work day, except that there was nothing ordinary about today or the three dreadful days prior to it. For three days and nights, she deprived her fragile body from food and sleep due to the guilt and remorse that were eating her chagrined heart. She had began her investigations right after that dreadful phone call and to her own shock and relief he was telling her the truth and she was too damn ashamed to text or call him, that and the fact that he didn't show up for two days in a row at work made her days as dark as the bleak, sunless sky of the dawn.

With a savage,unlady like curse she dragged her limp body out of bed, washed her pale face hastily and put on the first shirt that was before her eyes along with the same black pants she wore for the last three days, only this time she added a small belt to her narrow waist to prevent the trousers from falling. The incredible weight loss was undeniable but she failed to notice it. She wrapped the chocolate waves of hair,cascading over her back and slender shoulders into a pony tail, put on her enormous sunglasses and left the house in an unexplainable, irrational hurry.

She strolled into the empty office and as usual she was the first to arrive. She was also the last to leave. In her breif coffee break, she went to his office, ignoring the suspicious eyes and blazing tongues of her colleagues, she waited in anticipation and a faint hope outside the wooden doors of his office, but to her utter dissapointment, his secretary informed her that her boss was not coming to work today because of some important matters he had to deal with. The annoying secretary refused to give her further information so she reluctantly dragged herself back to her office.

In the fifth day, whatever shreds of sanity she had left deserted her slowly. The sleep deprivation mixed with the aching longing to see him made her at the edge of tears all the times, when she was alone she shed a couple of tears, tears that were so strange and hot and painful ;tears which were aimed to dampen the tormenting, unbearable self loathing she was experiencing.

When she hasn't heard of him or seen him in the office that day, fury shot through her entire being and she found herself finally having the courage to write a message to him. "I need to see you, now!". The message was so unlady like but she was too angry to have noticed that and when he didn't reply her an hour later she began writing endless angry messages, begining with hopeless,empty threats to pathetic, heart wrenching pleas.

After two hours of false concentration in her work and to her joyous disbelief he replied. He replied and he was here in this building, in his office, in this very corridor! Joy and relief seeped through her while she read the small, precious message. " cum my office, 5:14"

The hours passed by so slowly and with each passing minute her heart shook with anticipation and her brain screamed with uncontrollable hysterical thoughts and unspoken words. She was also very afraid; she didn't know what to say to him and she didn't expect what he had to say to her in return.

At twelve minutes past five, the office was entirely empty. With wobbling legs, she pushed her chair back and stood to straighten her appearance before meeting him. She rubbed her sweaty palms against the fabric of her skirt, took a deep breath and dragged her numb body to his office.

Her trembling, delicate fingers knocked slowly on the wooden doors, waiting for him to signal her to come in, she turned the door knob when his gruff voice came strong behind the door.

She was fully aware that she was a sight,with her frizzy hair, pulled away from her pale face in a tangled, unattractive pony tail, black circled her enormous eyes matching the gloomy colors of her shapeless, gray T-shirt and dull black, pencil skirt and finally those hideous, dirty black ballet flats. She wished that earth would open up and swallow her whole! And it wasn't her sight that made her wish that, it was the beauty of the creature that was before her. Clad in an italian suit, (minus the blazer) Sagir was sitting there on his desk all relaxed and gorgeous, his sleevs rolled up to his muscular deep tanned elbows, the first three buttons of his shirt opened, and his dark hair messy and gorgeous against his glowing skin. The contrast of his crisp white shirt and the deep tan of his skin made him look like a greek god. Power and authority emanated from him and she found herself shuddering with fear and helplessness. How the hell did he get browner over the weekend?! he said he'd sleep the weekend off for god's sake! She thought angrily, achingly supressing the fresh urge to weep.

He was here and he was handsome and healthy! While she spent the last five days in torment and regret he was...tanning somewhere.

" Have a seat" He offered, motioning at the chair seated before his desk.

" I..I'm fine where I am" She said shakingly, her head held high, contradicting the quavering of her voice and the furious trembling of her hands.

His eyes danced with laughter but he coughed and nodded. " so, you wanted to talk..."

Suddenly the ground began trembling furiously or was it her legs? oh my god, she needed to sit down, now! or else something very embarrasing is bound to happen. She took a step backward and he watched her with amused interest. "So?" He raised his brow.

" Can I sit...down?" and before he could answer her she found herself landing on the floor with gentle carefulness not to show him how shaken she was.

" on the floor?" He asked, supressing the urge to laugh.

" I-I like to s-sit on the floor" She lied.

" then can I join you?" He asked with mock seriousness. " I can't hear you properly from up here"
" sure, maktibik..kaifik" She mumbled lamely.

He sat down next to her on the cold, marble floor and crossed his arms around his chest waiting for her to say something appropriate. When he noticed the furious trembling of her small hands, a wave of sympathy and tenderness shot through him and he decided that he'd do the talking for her. He noticed her appearance, the exhaustion that masked her beautiful face and the incredible weight loss in her little body and remembered the first day he had met her in Bahrain. She was as upset as she was now, as scared and worried as she was now, as outrageously beautiful as she was now.

Damn it, he was begining to posses some pathetic strong feelings for the little girl sitting awkwardly next to him on the floor and it disgusted him, afterall men shouldn't fall in love, matters of the heart were women's concern not serious, grown up men, not Sagir.

"So..., we need to talk" He started awkwardly.

Please don't leave me. "yes"

quit looking so vulnerable, you're making this difficult for me." So last friday, there was er...some..misunderstanding, and well, enti wayid thayagteeni, esloobich, o 6areeqtich bil kalam 7asisatni enni-"

" I know, I-"

" khaleeni akamil kalami tali golai elli 3indich..." He said irritably.

Nouf ignored the aching lump in her throat and nodded.

damn it, she's going to weep. "elmohim Nouf I know where you came from, I understand raddat fi3lich bes ana fakkart bil mawthoo3 over the last a few days, oo  elli sawaiteh ghala6...elmafrooth kinti tes2ileeni before you attack me like that, kanat el7araka killish malha da3ii o sadgeeni wayid wayid thayagteeni, matwaqa3tich enti et7acheeni chethi, o mithil ma ana withaqt feech o e7taramtich, I expected the same from you bes you dissapointed me oo ana etwasalt enna ana weyach manisla7 7ag ba3ath"

painful, hot tears burned the back of her tired eyes and she bit down hard on her lower lip to keep herself from crying. " I understand" She whispered brokenly.

" kil hl 7anna and you don't have nothing more to say?" He teased.

She shook her head furiously. " I just wanted to apologize, I know what I did was wrong and I'm terribly sorry bes you can't possibly blame me, I..I don't know you very well"

" You don't?" He asked, hiding the amuesment in his voice. He never really considered dumping her, she was too important for him but he intended to teach her a lesson to avoid a similar situation in the future and because she did hurt him.

" I'm sorry, I think I should leave" The words came out of her mouth in chocked whisperes.

She was about to stand up when his hand came forcefully, grasping her elbow, pushing her down to the floor. " We don't suit as erm..a..boyfriend and...and girlfriend"

 A hot tear crept down her cheek. " you made that clear, can I leave now?"

" But I bet we'd be just perfect as a husband and wife"

" What?" She blinked, unable to believe the wonderful words he just spoke to her.

" marry me, Nouf" He said. " and stop crying"

She tried to say something but couldn't. She burst into tears.

" el7een laysh tabcheeen?? don't you want to marry me? kahals I'm sorry I didn't mean it"

Sobs wracked her slender frame and she covered her eyes with her both hands to save face." How the hell did you get your tan??" She mumbled between tears.

" your crying because I'm ...tanned?!" His eyes widened in disbelief.

" oh, shut up!" She sobbed.

He laughed. " mokhich thaarib, my sweet"

She reminded him of a puppy he used to have when he was a kid so he did what he used to do to it, he ruffled the top of her chocolate brown head. " don't cry, I don't like it when you do" His voice softened and he wasn't teasing her or jesting anymore.

She wiped her eyes and looked at him. " Do you really wish to marry me?"

He nodded. " I didn't mean to startle you, if you don't want to accept my offer I'll kindly-"

"  I hope you did mean to..." She whispered.

His eyes danced with delight and he automatically reached for her hand. " I take that as a yes?"

" yes!" She exclaimed.

" mabrook" He kissed her knuckles.

"alla ebarik feek"

" Can I ask you something?" She said.

" anything"

" that time in your house.." She trailed off, blushing furiously.

" I was scared" He confessed.

" scared? why?!" Her eyes widened in astonishment.

" You were too..., I couldn't stop..." He was rambling like an old woman but he made perfect sense to her and she understood fully, despite the fact that he didn't directly tell her the three words yet, she felt him. She felt his love.

With their hands interwined  they both sat there on the floor for an hour, each lost in their own thoughts. She, thinking about her glorious wedding gown, the wedding ceremony and spreading the good news all over kuwait as soon as she left his office. He, however thought about the single thing that most males preferred in a marriage; getting her in his bed as soon as she was officially his.

If only she could hear his thoughts.

If only he could read her mind.

With greenish blue bruises in her young face, a big grin and high spirits, Nouf left the facelift clinic with her two best friends in the world.

" enzayn are these blue bruises normal? ero7oon bisr3aa?" Nouf asked worriedly, after her first botox appointment.

" eeeh 3aadii, I do it all the time, yomain o wayhich yet3adal!" Noura assured her friend. " Don't worry!"

" in a week beseeroon your cheekbones like a super model's!" Sheikha muttered excitedly.

" a week!!" Nouf clapmed her hand over her mouth, unable to hide her panic. " in 3 days beyoon ahala eshofoonii!! oh my god,  OH MY GOD! I should'nt have listened to you two!"

" it won't show with make-up!! besides ana balaght yom gilt a week, the spots usually fade in 3 days..." Sheikha said reassuringly.

Nouf sighed loudly. " okay, I need a drink before the fake lashes appointment"

" starbucks?" Noura suggested. The girls nodded agreement in unison.

After getting brand new high cheekbones, extra-long, extra-thick eyelashes and extra-long, silky hair, Nouf was exhausted beyond belief and she needed the comfort of her bed and Sagir's soothing voice, so she decided she'd get home, retire to her bed and give him a call before moving to dream land, but her plans failed because as soon as she threw her weight in the satiny, inviting bed of her's she was dead and unconcerned to the world.

In three days, she'd meet his mother and the rest of his family, in three days they'd approve of her, in three days their engagement would be confirmed and official.

to be continued...

Sunday, 24 April 2011

my name is Nouf (16)

" yalait yakhthich wild Mona rifeejti, mashalla 3alayh adab o akhlag  weshzeena, o foug kil hatha 3inda khair mashalla, bes enti wayn kella emkamkima 3omrich matyeen tirtazayn ma3ai bil 3azayim" Nouf's mother told her while Nouf drove them to the chalet.

" mabi atzawaj wa7id ma3rfa" Her daughter replied.

" enshalla shlon bet3arfeena gabil el zawaj?? 7abeebti eyey ekha6bich el rayal taalii teyeen et3arifayn 3leh, sowalif 7ub o misakha hathi matamshi 3indi"

" yumma enti da2a adeema" Nouf said.

" chubbay"

" enshalla, basik el thalatheen o lal7een etcha3mooni! bachir jiddam e3yali etcha3mooni" Nouf complained.

" drama queen" Her mother said in a thick accent.

Nouf burst out laughing. " mino em3almich?? cuuute"

 " moo bes enti et3arfeen engalayzi" Her mother blushed. Nouf's mother was thirty six years older than her, she was so old fashioned and the age difference between the two made it hard for them to understand eachother and that led to a constant quarrel, yet they both secretly enjoyed the strange, warm friendship they shared. However Nouf liked her father best because he was everything a father and a man should be. He was a respectful and honorable, he was kind-hearted, generous and very understanding. he was all that and more and he loved his daughter with all his heart.Unlike her mother he spoiled his little princess yet treated her harshly when it came to teaching her the most imporant traits a person can posses, such as integrity and honesty, he wanted her to be the best in everything and she definately earned her good heart, honesty and pride from him.

" elyoom 7i6eelich hl k7aila wil 7omra o ta3alii ge3dai m3ana, khalatich o sadeeqat'hom beyoon, oo latsaweeli tasree7at leskhool maltich! na3mai sha3rich khal eshofoona"

" enshalla yumma" Nouf answered her mother automatically, she wasn't in the mood for another argument.

When Nouf drove by Faris's family's beach house in Bnaider she cursed under her breath and her mother heared her.

" 3alamich?" She eyed her daughter suspiciously.

" ma7ib waladhom emghazilchi" She said quietly, trying to hide her annoyance.

" haw, esh3alaych minna" Her mother said, curiousity filling her voice. " latitkalimayn 3n khalg allaa"

She snorted. " ok khayr enshalla" Nouf's mother always told her not to gossip about other people yet her mother did exactly that and Nouf found it for someone reason, funny.

Her family's chalet was already packed with her mother's sisters, friends and their daughters. Her aunts' beach houses where next to her family's and the entire family gathered here every weekend and this weekend was no exeption.Nouf went straight to her bedroom to steal a moment of solitude before she joined them again downstairs, today like every other friday would be long and tiring and she needed to be fully prepared for it. She streched down on the cold bed and reached for her BLACKBERRY, dialled Sagir's number and waited for him to wake up. The other night he had told her to wake him up at eleven, and it was already eleven thirty.

After dialling his number twice, he didn't pick up.With great dissapointment, she brushed her natural, thick waves that were spilling like melted chocolate around her shoulders and back, applied lipstick to please her mother and headed to the door. As soon as she turned the door knob to leave,her phone vibrated and a giggle tore from her throat. " mu sij!" She said before pressing the phone to her ear.

" Shsayir?" He said huskily, sleep filling his voice.

" ams geltli ga3deeni esa3a 11, al7een esa3a 11, sa7 elnom" She mumbled while she grinned involuntarily, she was so damn happy to hear his voice.

" oh, mashiba3t noum" He almost whispered, and she regretted it emmediatly.

" I'm terribly sorry, yalla ana akhaleek etnaam" She said apologetically.

" I love your voice" He suddenly said, still in that  husky,intimate voice, taking her by surprise. "it's raspy and very sweet"

She chuckled while blushing hard. " thank you!"

" entai bil shaleh?"

She was glad that he remembered. " ee!"

" enjoy it darling" He said surprising her again by the term of endearment he was using with her

for the first time. She swallowed hard. " t-thank you, you too enjoy your w-weekend"

" you enjoy it for me, shakli banaam le yom el a7ad"

" that's boring!"

" try working as a manager for some boring investment company" He teased.

She giggled. " I thought you liked your job!"

" I live for my job, ofcourse I like it"

" nice"

" hmm"

She ended their silly yet so sweet, phonecall and headed downstairs to join her family. The breakfast was messy, big and filled with laughter and endless conversations. Nouf ate, laughed and talked with her favorite cousins about her new job and the latest fashions while the elder ladies gossiped about the latest engagements, marriages and receptions.

Nouf was so engrossed in conversation with her eighteen year old cousin who kept asking her about her college days that she didn't  even hear what her other was telling her from across the dining table.

" Nouf shisma modeerich?!" Her cousin shouted again.

" halaa?" She yelled back.

" your manager, elli wathifich 3inda!, shisma??" Her cousin demanded empatiently

" oh, ee Sagir AL-fulani" she said, her heart skipping a beat by the mere mention of his name.

" tara sa7 ohwa!" Her other cousin said.

" la7tha shel salfaa?" Nouf asked, now curious than ever.

" tathkireen Zain al-fulani elli kanat ma3ai bil jam3a?"

Nouf shook her head.

" embalaa et3arfeenha, hatheech elmamloo7a el smayra, sha3rha curly? elli es7abat awragha o ra7at tadris barra?"

" aaah, ee 3araft'ha" Nouf said. " eshyab el6ari?"

" She's married to your boss!" Her cousin grinned mischievously.

" What?" Nouf stared at her blankly.

" hathy tizawijat Sagir, the owner of the company you work for"

Nouf Laughed nerveously. " No, this is a mistake, ohwa moo mitzawij"

" yes he is! yal thakeya, tathkireen marra dazaw broadcast khi6ba taqreeban last year? ehya tiseer cousin rifeejti o rifeejti dazatli eyaah o ana dazaytlikom!"

Nouf paled and her heart began thumbing hard." mit2akda?" She swallowed hard.
" walla el3atheem, awareech el message, mitsayiv bil history" Her cousin said proudly.

" egoloon ti6aligaw" Her other cousin provided.

"noo lal7een together, egoloon tishtighil ma3ah! ana esara7a madrii 3anha bes her cousin etsolif o chethi"

Nouf's face slowly drained of color and she was clutching at the wooden dining table forcefully for support, a married man?? she thought almost hysterically, she kissed a married man?? she was falling for a married man?? the whole idea was so ugly and revolting to her own ears that she almost threw up right there and then.

In his little modern kitchen, Sagir poured himself a cup of freshly ground coffee, while holding the coffee pot in his other muscular hand. He stood in the kitchen barefoot, dressed in only his pajama bottoms, his hair in wild dissaray, contemplating his future and his new found lovely girl.

A year ago he had finally decided to marry, and his beautiful second cousin whom he held powerful feelings for was the one and only candidate. Sagir trully believed that he had strong feelings for her, as she was intellegent, witty and simply different. She came back home after three years of studying abroad and the moment they lied eyes on one another there was an undeniable spark between the two. He never thought that he'd fall for his mother's cousin's daughter but it was there and he couldn't ignore it and to top it all, she welcomed his love with an open heart and agreed to marry him.

In their first engagement days, he discovered that she was in love with someone else and that Sagir was a mere tool to make the other man jealous and to his own horror and humiliation, Sagir was the other man, not the other way around. After that painful, ugly discovery he called the wedding off and banished the idea of remarrying.

After a whole year of being loyal to that decision his traitorous heart began softening toward another woman, another magnificent woman and suddenly his single marvellous life seemed so dull, so plain and in desperate need for a woman. Nouf was very pretty, he thought, but it wasn't that that drew him to her, she was incredibly sweet, smart and kind-hearted, most importantly she was everything his ex was not.

He wasn't sure if he loved her yet but he liked her enough to know that with time he would and that she represented everything he wanted in a wife. In the four months they had been together she showed him that she wasn't another mindless, airheaded beauty and he knew that she was in the perfect age to marry and even bear a child.

He'd see her tommorow and talk to her about it, he thought with a smile.

After fifteen minutes of trying to supress her furious rage and tears, Nouf burst into hysterical, uncontrollable laughter. She didn't believe how fate was being cruel to her! and she didn't know how to react to that so she found herself torn between laughing and crying, confronting and ignoring him, she decided to do the latter.

An hour later Nouf tossed the whole matter behind her head and decided to enjoy her day with the rest of her family, she did not want to spend another tear on that adulterous, filthy man. She put on her swimming suit, short shorts and headed downstairs again and to the pool were the girls were gathering.

While the girls talked, ate freshly cut melons and swam, Nouf didn't, couldn't fully enjoy herself. He took advantage of her and she couldn't simply ignore the whole matter! She decided she'd confront him next sunday, impersonally and while they were at work, meanwhile she'd enjoy her time without the constant interruption of his face in her mind.  A fresh surge of anger shot through her and she took another dip in the swimming pool to cool off.

At six pm. the girls finally left the pool and went to dry off and change. Nouf went to her bedroom and involutarily the first thing she did was to search for her BLACKBERRY. She picked it up from under her pillow where she forgot she even put it there and to her horror there were three missed calls from him.

With a sigh of frustration she put the phone down on the pillows and headed to the bathroom. When she finished scrubing herself red, blow dried her hair and put on fresh clothes she picked up her phone again and began writing a message to him. " I don't want anything to do with you anymore, kindly delete my number, and if you no longer  want me to work in your company, I'll gladly resign. BYE!"

In less than five minutes her phone rang as she had expected. Her heart sank and her hands began to tremble, she closed her eyes and desperately fought the urge to pick up the phone.

The phone stopped ringing after a few minutes and she let a loud sigh of relief. She rose from her bed and began to leave her depressing bedroom when her phone beeped announcing a message and she collapsed back down on the soft sheets with a moan of defeat.

" may I know why?" She read the simple four words and sudden outrage exploded in her brain. She picked up the phone and dialled his damned number hastily , her fingers shaking with indignation.

" Why did you lie to me?? why didn't you tell me what you really are??" She yelled. "of all the sick,vile, low people-"

" lie about what exactly?" He interrupted her calmly.

His cool tone made her even angrier and she thanked god he wasn't anywhere near her. "why didn't you tell me you were married?"

" what?"

" you heard me!" She snapped.

" I'm not married to anyone" He said icily.

She laughed without humour. " stop it!! khalas I know the truth you don't have to hide it anymore, bes I called to end this stupid, sick game! I don't want to play anymore, I'm breaking up with you!"

" you're crazy" He suddenly said. "I refuse to talk to you in this mood, oh and next time make sure your "information" is correct before you attack me like this and by the way there will be no next time.bye" He ended the phonecall without even giving her a chance to react.

Her chest rising and falling with fury, she looked at the phone in her damp hand and remembered his calm, insulting voice. She felt tears sting her eyes and the indignation she was feeling slowly subsided replaced by great pain and a strange sense of loss, because a part of her actually believed that he was telling the truth.

to be continued...

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

my name is nouf (15)

" so you're telling me that he had the chance to kiss you but he decided..not to?"Sheikha asked Nouf slowly trying to analyze everything her dear friend had just told her with so much anger and frustration.

" jeez, that's weird" Noura frowned.

Nouf nodded, ignoring the feeling of fresh annoyance that was sweeping over her. She spent the last two days overthinking about the humuliating situation and help her god she was starting to get angry and just didn't have it in her to tolerate some other jerk who had the face to act that he cared.

" damn it, this is so embarassing" Sheikha chuckled. " maybe he's gay!"

" you think?" Nouf said sarcastically. " you know, once I caught him flipping through vogue paris, not to mention that he always dresses so fashionably!..oh and those shoes!"

The girls laughed and Sheikha patted her friend's hand. " his loss, bes Nouf, you shouldn't have went to his house-"

" I know, I know!" Nouf interrupted her. " I think there's something terribly wrong with me-"

" chub" Sheikha interrupted her firmly. " there's nothing wrong with you, it's just that you have a habbit of falling in love with the wrong ones"

" and I thought this one was different" Nouf sighed. " the weird thing is, I don't feel sad. be6agag elli e6iga, I'm just angry"

Noura eyed her suspiciously. " that's great Nouf"

" oh, please" She snapped. " I thought you knew better than this"

Sheikha placed her cup of coffee hard on the wooden table making a loud sound and that brought the two girls' attention emmediatly to her, she cleared her throat and began to speak. " listen, I liked this Sagir enough to give him a chance, maybe he wanted to save it for a better time, place?"

" what kind of man would think such a thing while getting intimate with a girl,any girl?!" Noura asked.

" you little bitch" Nouf smiled at her friend.

" sorry" Noura mouthed sympathetically.

The girls were having an early breakfast at prime&toast and Nouf decided to join them before heading to work.It was a gloomy sataurday and obviously she didn't have to work on gloomy satuardays, not that she ever worked on any satuarday but she had to catch up on her unfinished work, especially after that pointless, stupid one day trip her boss forced her to go to! She thought angrily.After finishing two cups of coffee Nouf had to excuse herself and leave to work. It had been two days since she last heard of Sagir, and she resisted and fought the urge to call or text him, and boy that was the hardest thing she had to do. She wished that he'd called her and explained to her why he bailed on her, and she'd forgive him at once! she knew it, but he didn't and she hadn't been this angry her entire life.

Tucking a strand of soft brown hair behind her ear, she made her way into her office which was for some reason empty. She landed all her weight in the chair facing her desk and began working. if I put all my heart in my work it might take my mind off of other less important things, she thought with a loud sigh.

luckily for her there was a lot of work to do, since that business trip her work accumulated and today was her most suitable time to catch up. after several hours of hard working in front of the computer with only excusing herself for a couple of times to the toilet, she finally drew back her chair and looked up from the screen only to see a tall, broad shouldered figure towering over her desk, she jumped with surprise. " damn you!" she blurted out.

Sagir was standing there looking at her, she didn't know how he got in here as she didn't hear him coming. " I'm sorry...again" He said, amuesement filling his deep, gruff voice.

" I gather you're developing a hobby of getting scared of me" He added.

" I gather you're gathering a hobby of surprising me in my office" she mimicked him.

He bit back a chuckle.

" stop sneaking up on me!" She yelled.

" I'm the boss, I do as I wish" he said icily and that made her angrier.

" okay Mr boss, I think I've finished my work here, can I leave?"

" you're mad at me" He said in that cold tone of his and it wasn't a question. He was so arrogantly stating a fact.

" why would I be mad?" She demanded impatiently.

He took two steps closer to her desk and her heart leapt. He must have felt it because his smooth, inviting lips twitched into a smile.

A wave of unwanted heat shot through her entire body and she shook her head with confusion and then the unexpected happend.He knelt down before her chair and took her small, cold hand in his warm one.

" damn..." He cursed under his breath, and her eyes widened in disbelief. " shfeek?" Her voice shook with a mix of emotion and worry.

" I..I'm..." He frowned. " Nouf?"

She looked at him, still confused. " you look thinner" he said.

" thank you" She said.

" that wasn't a compliment" He said harshly. " laysh maywakloonich?"

She chuckled. " you like fat women?"

" I like women who look like women" He said.

She shot him a resentful look and snatched her hand away from his. She shoved her chair back and began to stand up, he stood up with her, blocking her view with his powerful frame. " I'm leaving" She said, her voice shook with fury.

" you're not going anywhere unless I say so" He said, a sense of authority in his gruff, deep voice.

" who the hell do you think you are?!" She snapped.

" why, your boss" He said, giving her a hard look.

" You arrogant, loathing-" and before she could continue enlisting all the insults she knew to provoke him he pulled her in a rough kiss. Her breath was sucked out of her lungs as he parted her lips forcefully, roughly with his hot, teasing mouth.

His finger dug painfully in her arms when she resisted at first, but as his kisses deepend she lost control over her achingly strong emotions and  kissed him with almost the same urgency and passion that she was recieving from him,and that was when his roughness turned to sweet, torturing caresses along her back and waist and she was absolutely sure that if he pulled away from her now, she'd...hurt. Her hands circled the nape of his neck and pulled him closer. She should be offended, she should be pushing him away, do anything but melt into his arms. She cursed herself for being to easy when it came to him, why didn't she have any problem with resisting all her exe's? even Faris, the one she thought she was madly in love with, wasn't a problem to her control. She lost her control now, in front of a man she barely knew, in front of a man she wanted oh so much.

He was arrogant, stubborn and...irresistible! She let out a groan of defeat and he finally pulled away, resting his chin on the top of her head. She was the first to speak. " you are a man of contradiction"

" you're still mad at me" He said again through her hair, pulling her closer to him.

" I'm not, I're weird" She said.

He laughed. " I've missed you"

" oh you missed me so much that you decided to ignore me?" She said sarcastically.

He didn't say anything for a minute but when he spoke again the cheerfulness in his voice was gone. " you won't understand" He said.

" No I won't" She snapped.

" Will it matter if I said I'm sorry?" He looked down at her, she was very upset, he noticed and it took him a huge effort that almost caused him physical pain  to stop himself from kissing her again.

His tormenting uncertainty vanished when he saw a hint of an approving smile on the corner of her lips. He let out a loud sigh of relief  and she chuckled.

" wow! I think I love to see you like this" She grinned.

" Like what?"

"never mind" She waved her hand dismissively at him. At that moment she was hundred percent positive that he cared for her and that she held some sort of power over him, she saw it in his eyes when he was so desperate to prove to her that he wanted her and that what happend before today didn't matter.

" okh" He suddenly spoke after a moment of silence. " esa3a 3addat 2, nesait enni emwa3id el ahal atghada ma3ahom, I'm sorry Nouf kan weddi I spend the entire-"

" No Sagir, min sijik! my parents are awaiting me for lunch too" She lied quickly. " you go to that family lunch, oo I'm sorry I distracted you" She blushed.

" you did" He said, amusement filling his deep voice. " but that won't stop me from walking you to your car"

The building was completely empty, she noticed as they walked to the elevator together. He kept gazing into her eyes when the elevator's door closed behind them and she couldn't help but giggle as it was so corny and the fact that she enjoyed it made her laugh even harder. She'd never experienced anything of this sort, she happened to realize that later, because when she was with Faris, their relationship was so distant, so cold and superficial, and to her embarrasment their relationship revolved around the fact that she was desperately trying to win his heart by showering him with gifts and doing all she could do to please him while he treated her like dirt, made her feel insecure and in constant fear of being deserted any second. She also came to realize that she never loved him as a person; It was his charming looks that she loved, his powerful name and the fact that he was one of the most eligible bachelors in kuwait.

Sagir's phone rang, and he picked it up emmediatly, moving his eyes away from her's to concentrate on the phonecall. " hala yumma" He muttered through the phone. " mani em6awil enshalla, enshallah, ok, ok ma3a elsalama"

" troubles?" She smiled at him.

" la bes el walda mat3rf takil ella o ana yamha" He said, returning her smile.

" ya7lelha, allaa ekhaleeha" She said, touched by the way he talked about his mother. 

" allah esalmich" He replied politely.  

He walked her to her car, kissed her hand tenderly and waited for her to start her car's engine and drive then he walked to his. Nouf could barely concentrate on the road, she played Frank sinatra's strangers in the night and sang along " something in your eyes was so inviting, something in you smile was so exciting" and blushed gorgeously when she remembered his passionate kisses.

When Sagir reached his family's house, his nieces' joyous laughter filled the magnifecent garden of the house and a delightful grin filled his  handsome face. They ran up to him as soon as they spotted him walking to them across the vibrant green grass, the two girls adored him for he showered them with gifts and love.

" hii uncle" Luluwa the three year old wrapped her arms around his legs when she saw him. He picked her up and planted a kiss on her soft cheek.

" halla wallah eb 7abeebti" He said.

Haya, the seven year old niece tried to grab his attention by tugging at his dishdasha and blowing the enormous gum that was in her mouth. She was so tiny comparing to his tall, broad shouldered frame that he had to kneel down to talk to her. He smiled knowingly and took hold of her hand. " hala wallah eb hayoona, taghadaitaw wella na6reeni?"

She blushed furiously and nodded. He laughed and walked to the house with both girls clinging to him.

Inside their big house, his half sister and her husband were sitting in the living room, across from them sat his younger half brother with his step mother next to him. " Esalam 3lekom" He muttered and headed straight to his step mother,  kissed the crown of her head and greeted the rest of his siblings and his sister's husband. " 3ayal wayn oboy?"

" ga3id eb maktiba egool 3inda shighil, mal o oho yan6irik, kelina yowa3a" His step mother complained. 

He smiled. " Asif yumma 7abebti, al7een agoom anadeeh" 

He stood up and made his way up the stairs to his father's office. Sagir was born and raised in this big, beautiful house and although he moved to live in a seperate house five years ago, this house was home to him, it meant much more to him because for one thing he could still remember his mother's sweet voice filling the house, her laughter when she played with him, her warmth when she told him stories of soldiers and heroes before kissing him goodnight and finally her cries of anguish when she was too sick to know he was there listening to her heart-wrenching cries and shuddering with fear. He was eight years old when his mother discovered that she had a deadly breast tumour . He didn't understand anything at the time yet he knew something was terribly wrong because one day after he came back home from school, his mother was sitting in the living room, her face red and tear-stricken. She blew her nose and dabbed at her teary eyes when she saw him coming to her and his handsome, young face fell with horror and surprise.

His father said cheerfully, trying to hide his fear. " omik babyyaa, tabchii mithil el yahal"

Little Sagir giggled at that " laysh?"

" 3ashan qazooha ebra o ehya takhaaf" His dad grinned, his eyes twinkling with unshed tears, But Sagir was too young to notice that.

 Sagir approached his mother and held her hand. " mama, latabcheen ohwa e3awir bes ebsir3a..e6eeb"

His mother wept harder and hugged him to her.

At bed time, his mother didn't come to kiss him goodnight or even made sure that he brushed his teeth and was in his pajamas for the first time in his short life. He drew his bed covers back, rolled out of his bed and made his way to his parents' room. He froze before their bedroom's door when he heard his mother's loud sobs and his father's hard voice. " el walad wayid mit3alig feech , lat3aqdeena min sighir, 3ashani latabcheen jidama marra thania, khaleech qaweya, ohwa mi7tajich wayid  hl fatra"

" shagoola? mabuga shai el diktor egool mintishir" She cried.

" ensafir barra" His father said.

Five months later she passed away.

A year and a half later his father married his cousin who loved Sagir like her own child and gave him a little brother and a sister.

to be continued...

Saturday, 2 April 2011

the pair

Lying between the soft, plump pillows that were surrounding her, she watched him fix his "nasfa" in front of her dressing table. Her man standing ever so gorgeously, fixing his "nasfa" in front of  the glossy,large mirror. Her man, she thought while smiling viciously. He turned around hastily and began to leave the cosy bedroom to head to work but his eyes betrayed him and landed on the beauty of the creature that was lying seductivly on his bed making him pause for a moment and then change his way to the bed instead. He sat on the spot beside her on the bed and reached for her small hand. She smiled for believing that she controlled him, she could easily seduce him with a flutter of her long,curled fake lashes( but of course he believed they were naturally her's) or simply with her ravishing smile . He brought her soft hand up to his lips and planted a small kiss over her fingers.

" you need to stop doing this, I cannot possibly skip work...again." He said while smiling at her,the green in his hazel eyes standing out against his tanned skin.

" doing what?" She asked him with exagerated innocence.

He answered her by placing his head over her chest and holding her close to him. " terki...I too have to go to work" Jana said through his hair.

" I don't want you to work" He said while tightening his arms around her.

" your perfect "nasfa" will be ruined" She said. " and I do want to work"

He sat up and took his hands off of her, looking her in the eyes. " I think obedience is a good quality to have in a wife"

" I should've married a woman who stays at home to clean, cook, listens and agrees to almost everything her husband says and takes care of their upcoming children" He added ever so seriously, but she could see a hint of amuesement in his beautiful hazel eyes. 

" you should have..." She said softly.
" I shouldn't have picked a rebellious hard headed, stubborn woman who-"
" rebellious!" She interrupted him in disbelief.
" that hair..." He ran his long fingers over her light brown hair which was almost blonde and furiously shiny under the sun lights. This very discussion has taken place between the two of them many times before and it always ended with him still hoping of her quiting her job and staying at home while her stubborness never failed to kill that hope, but only temporarily.

" I love my job baby" She told him.

" I don't" He said honestly. Despite the fact that he was a modern, open minded man he still prefered the idea of his own wife, staying in the safety of their home, not necessarily cooking or doing anything at all as it killed him to see her tired, but he always thought that his wife was too delicate to handle that demanding, exhausting job of her's. Of course he fully knew that she was a strong, independent woman, afterall she lived in a foreign country all by herself for several years and she obviously did well without the help of a man. And he saw it with his own eyes in the times of the year when he visited her. And damn it he couldn't admit it to her but he loved to see her doing feminine stuff that he was too shy to talk about He smiled as he imagined her spending her mornings in their bed watching tv, reading a fashion magazine or simply...knitting.

She has agreed to take a week off from her job for his sake but she loved her job way too much to quit it. She never understood why he hated the idea of her working, he did not have a problem with that before he proposed to her! Maybe he was jealous, she thought while she bit her lower lip to prevent a smile. Maybe someday she'd quit and obey her husband, just not today or tommorow or the day after...

"fine" He rose from the bed in defeat, kissed the crown of her head and ordered her to rest before leaving to work. As soon as he got inside his car he lit up a ciggarette while waiting for his engine to warm up. Terki blew a smoke and smiled when he could almost hear jana's voice threatening to break his neck if she caught him smoking again and then his smile left his full, pink lips when he remembered her complaining about the severe neck and back pains she's been feeling lately. He was too worried and afraid but he never told her anything about those feelings and he wasn't planning to.

He couldn't convince her to quit her job this time, and he could not possibly force her to stay at home against her will, he loved her and respected her too much to do that. Oh, how much he loved her but maybe tonight, or tommorow or perhaps the day after tommorow his love for her lessened and then he'd be able to make her quit her goddamn job. With that thought, his smile landed back again on his mouth, he put the gear to drive and drove off, the smile never leaving his handsome face.

Back in their bedroom, Jana thought of her gorgeous husband and his ridiculous obsession with rest. "I've known him for 6 years, laysh tawnii alaa7ith that he's old fashioned?!!" She asked no one in particular before she flopped back against the soft pillows.

She never knew that she was the center of his universe and the mere thought of any harm that could happen to her left him in constant worry and fear that was too complicated to be easily seen as an obsession.