Head resting against the wheel, I tried to even out my ragged breathing. Another panic attack and this time a witness. I hated the attacks, they made me feel weak and helpless and he's the one to blame.
No your weakness caused this. Shit , now the little voice in my head was being a bitch too.
I needed my bed.
I woke up hours later , head pounding , disoriented , my iphone blaring with text messages. I sat up straight and reached for it. 15 messages from my closest friends in our whatsapp group.
Mariam: a little birdie told me you are in town, shaikha!!
Sabeeka: what? Already?
Nouf: omg! Shayoooookh u back?
And more messages. My stomach flipped nervously, kuwait was so small, everyone knew everything and I couldn't hide anymore, couldnt tell the truth either, i had to come up with a convincing lie.
* yes babies Unfortunately I'm back, husband has urgent work :(*
Wow, lying was easy, and I've yet to master it since I was going to do it for a long time until this "issue" was resolved. I sighed and flopped back down the soft mattress.
Another text message, this time from non other than the husband.
* I'm back, need to see you asap*
Screw him! My nerves were practically distroyed and now this, I couldnt take all this stress anymore, it was starting to jeopardize my mental and physical health and truly ruin my skin, long gone the baby softnes I've spend thousands to achieve. I had to sort this out before it killed me.
* come to my family's house, now* I replied straight away.
Less than thirty minutes later, he arrived, all travel disheveled and looking even sexier than the last I saw him, damn his good looks, if he was balding and short and round it would be much easier to leave him.
" shaikha, I'm not here to give you divorce, so I'm telling you, dont even think about it . This will not make either of us look good, my mother and yours as well won't make this easy for you if I ever accept to divorce you , so you might as well remove that idea from your head and pack your stuff to come with me"
Fury was an underestatement. If I was furious and hurt and bitter before, I was murderous now! That's it I'll murder him in his sleep and spend the rest of my life in a psyche ward.
I took a deep breath. " and then what?"
" and then you live like a queen. You get whatever you want"
Again with the shit talk. I wanted attention and love and sex and passion, not this! But, what if he was right? What if all marriages were based on lies and other women and cheating and ugliness? What if I was delusional and khaleeji men werent capable of fidelity?
Besides divorce was a mess, especially if the other party wasn't willing to cooperate. I sighed, things were appearantly going as he planned.
I sighed in defeat. " fine. I'll pack my bags"
" thank you" he exhaled loudly, and kissed the top of my head totally taking me by surprise.
My suitcase was ready since I barely had time to unpack thank god, I wasn't in the mood to concentrate.
Our sea view apartment exceeded my expectations , the exclusive residence had only foreigners policy but obviously the husband had his ways. eveything was luxurious and modern it was vogue decor kind of pretty. At least he had money, I thought gloomily.
I stared out the window at the vivid blue swimming pool and tennis court , I could get used to that...
By the time I finished unpacking and getting most of my stuff out I was exhausted and it was past 7 pm. He was still working on his laptop, checking his phone frequently. We barely exchanged any words.
" you hungry?" He asked.
" Not really" I said, warily. He was trying so hard to act normal, this was far from normal, I only agreed to stay with him for the sake of my own sanity and because I've decided that I'm going to make his life a living hell or Even better I'll make him love me even if I died trying.
" I'll order takeout" He announced. " italian? Sushi? Whatever you want"
" yes" I said distractedly
I could feel his gaze at me, I ignored and headed to the bathroom to take a calming bubble bath.
Damn, it was gorgeous. All glass and sparkly torquoise...and spacious! I could spend all day here. The bath tub seperated from the shower box, both looking tempting, I opted for a quick shower first and then I had to christen that bath!
Loud knocking on the door woke me up from my dreamless sleep. Shit, I must have slept in the tub.
" Shaikha?" Mubarak's head appeared from behind the door. " it's been almost an hour"
" I must have slept" I rubbed my eyes, voice all husky.
My skin was all wrinkly like a 90 year old, and the water was now cold. Urgh , I was freezing.
" need help?" He asked, his color deepening.
" it's okay, I'll be out in a minute" I wasn't going to let him see me naked.
We ate in awkward silence around the huge glass table. He ate ravenously, Not bothering with conversation, he must be as tired as I was. I played with the food in my plate , my mind miles away. Suddenly my thoughts wandered toward a dangerous route; the stranger With the smoldering eyes I met yesterday. The mystery behind it all. What happend at the airplane? Why was he so interested in me? I looked like a corpse recently, not bothering with makeup or even doing my hair.
Two hous later I was in bed , hands shaking while holding my phone. My heart was thumbing so hard, breath ragged; I was going to have another panic attack this time because I just sent that stranger a text message.
Just because my husband was a cheating bastard , I wasn't going to stoop to his level and do the same. But it was too late now because I'd already texted him.
" hello there" less than a minute later.
Omg omg omg ...