My name is Nouf (19)

I'm so soo soo sorry for the extremly long wait ;$ I know I'm like the worst blogger!! you probably lost interest in this blog as well, but oh well, let's continue...

forgive me :*

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She stopped for a mere second. please give me a moment to catch my breath, oh please help me god. She took several shallow breaths, her tightly lace corceted dress almost suffocating her. Behind her she saw her days of youth, carless, carefree and familiar youth. Before her was the unknown, her mysterious future, Sagir. Sagir! With wobbly legs that felt like jelly  she took two steps further and further until she reached her amazingly decorated"kosha". As soon as she sat on the beautiful luxurious seat, she was surrounded by family and friends, greeting and congratulating her and it didn't feel so lonely anymore. She was so relieved she had tears in her eyes.

She observed the dancing peacocks, swirling and moving gracefully on the glittery dance floor. These girls were more like a fresh basket of fruits, not peacocks, she decided. Several heads of shiny brown, black and one or two dark blonde shone under the enormous modern chandeliers, damn they were gorgeous. She thought with envious admiration .In the old days the bride used to be the center of attention and admiration, today Nouf didn't stand out at all, yes she was beautiful and elegant but she still wasn't the prettiest. That fact was amusing as well as depressing to her, the competition was fierce in the dance floor, these girls were competing in the classiest way possible, She swept her gaze over the sea of nameless faces, the familiar and the strange, the old and the young, and then... she saw her. Garbed in a simple strapless gown of offwhite silk, that clung to her voluptous curves perfectly, contrasting her dark bronzed skin, her shiny black curles tumbled over her bare wide shoulders, framing a face of rare prettiness. No she wasn't as pretty as Nouf, not even slim as her. She posessed real curves opposed to Nouf's stick thin figure, her black head the opposite to Nouf's golden brown satiny hair, yet...yet she had an aura of sophistication, grace and confidence that Nouf lacked and her heart darkened with envy. This very woman, was her husband's former lover, this woman who attended Nouf's wedding and danced gracefully and happily when in a lifetime ago she would have been in Nouf's place. She wondered if he whispered the same words of love he spoke to Nouf to this woman, if he kissed her the same hot, demanding way, if he...,she kept wondering and wondering in her wedding day when there wasn't supposed to be a place for doubts and jealousy and then a new group of friends came to congratulate the bride and the other woman was soon forgotten.


After several hours of dancing, showing off and socializing, it was time for the groom make appearance and Nouf was nervous as hell, she was about to start hyperventilating when Sheikha came to her side to rescue her.

"wain Noura, mashift'ha..l-laish mayet etsalim 3lai, oh Sheikha shaswii, Sheikha abi maai..." She was losing  control, her hands shook while she spoke and she was out of breath. Sheikha squeezed her hand and leaned down to whisper in her ear. " shhh, take a deep breath awal shai...yes, good girl...al7een ayeeblich mai, get a grip"

"wain Noura?" She sounded calmer now.

" madri, you know how she's like when-"

" No I don't! it's my wedding day and she's supposed to be enjoying herself 3al aqal tistanis 3ashani!, shal misakha!" Nouf snapped. They both knew that their best friends had a jealous nature, and ever since Nouf got engaged, Noura kept her distance, they both knew that it wasn't going to be the same for them after this day, specially that Noura wasn't there for Nouf when she most needed her.


" shhh fee camerat!! smile, be6agag elli e6igha, eb 3irs'ha ana a3alimha, ana lazim aroo7 now, that handsome groom of yours will grace us with his presence and I want to see his expression when he sees you" She grinned mischeviously.

Nouf couldn't help but smile back. " oh Sheikha, I'm so scared!"

"he's going to lose his mind looking at that pretty face of yours" She kissed her cheek and left her all alone and scared in her glorious kosha.


And then it was time. She had to face him. She saw his handsome face amongst many others, walking down the glittery aisle. With every step the groom and his men took, she felt weaker and her heart heavier, trying not to think of the enormity of what she was about to commit, she let her gaze drift over the crowds of people who were gazing at the groom. She closed her eyes for a second, took a deep breath and her lungs filled with the sweet scent of bukhoor and roses and then just then when she sniffed the achingly familiar scent of his cologne, and felt his presence as if it were a tangible force she opened her eyes. He planted a kiss on the crown of her head, took her cold hand in his and sat down next to her. Warmth spread through her and her whole body started to tingle. He was here! she thought wildly, her husband was here.

He looked like an arabian mythical knight in his crisp dishdasha, ghutra and bisht. His doe like black eyes, kindled a burning fire within her, within every young woman with sense in her head, his dark vivid coloring stirred pride and desire in her heart. Her husband was beautiful, as beautiful as the handsome arabian princes she used to read about when she younger.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear and she could recognize the humour in his serious words " I'm sorry you have to go through this, terribly sorry"

She chuckled. "I'm sorry too"

God help her, the next chapter of her life just begun.

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Thirty minutes have passed. Thirty long minutes have passed with her husband waiting outside in the car expecting her to come down any minute. She gently pulled down her long veil , tossed it in one of her bags and smoothed her perfect chignon with her delicate fingers. She took her time looking around the beautiful luxurious suite. It was such a waste that they were not going to spend their wedding night here, just like most newly wedded couples, before travelling to their honeymoon destination. No, they were going to spend their first day in his house, their house. it was all Sagir's idea and the way he had spoke that thought to her with that smoldering doe like eyes of his looking directly at her soul, she simply couldn't say no. So here she was nervous and abandoned in her hotel room, making her groom even more nervous and abandoned than her. With a loud sigh she draped a small shawl across her tiny shoulders, took her purse and left her room with the assistance of her two cousins.

" thank you sweethearts, I can take it from here.." Nouf thanked her cousins as soon as they reached the back door.

" you sure?"

Nouf nodded, hugged them both and made her way out of the ballroom in the swirly perfection of white silk and satin that made her look more like an angel than a mere human being. Sagir opened the car's passenger door for her and helped her get inside and then they were on their way to home.




When he helped her out of the car, she put her hand in his and looked up at the majestic building that was their house. She took two steps forward and then she stopped dead, staring in disbelief at the massive amout of glitter! Home was beautiful and...pink!  A thousdand, No..a million little pink and white fairy lights decorated every inch of the big white house, glittering furiously just like a big, expensive pink diamond. It was breakthtaking, Nouf's chest tightened, she was speechless.


"I've been told you fancied pink jewellery" He whispered into her ears before she had the chance to say something.


" 3ajeeeb!" She whisprered. "how could you mana- oh,beautiful absolutely beaut- oh my love!" She turned around, wrapped her slender arms around him and drew him closer. " Thank you, thank you" She whispered huskily into his ear.



He led her inside the two story house and showed her around. The house looked thoroughly different from the last time she visited.It was newly furnished in luxurious cream, beige and gold. It looked perfect for a...family, unlike the simplicity and cleannes of the old furniture which suited a single male more. She was thankful for the effort he put into transforming the house to suit his new life. Her husband was such a sweetheart. When it was time to show her the bedroom her heart started thundering and she felt dreadfully uneasy. Her nervousness beaded her forhead with prespiration and her stomach churned, she wanted to gag!


The bedroom was as big as the beautiful living room in the same floor. The king size bed dominated the room, with it's black leather frame, the crisp white coveres, the giant crochet black bed spread and the several gray and silver cushions. Inspite of the fact that she didn't choose it herself, she loved it tremendously! Her eyes then moved to the enormous plazma TV screen and the round cream leather sofa facing it. She hated having a TV in her own bedroom but at this very moment with her increasing nervousness she didn't really mind at all, she even liked the idea, just a little.


Nouf  excused herself to take a shower after the long tour around the house. Her house! She deliberately lingered in the shower, reminding herself over and over again that everything will be alright and that Sagir will be considerate and will know what to do, dear lord she was frightened.

When she was finished, she towel dried her hair and body, applied lavendar scented moisturizer and lightly blow-dried her hair. Her hands shook as she put on her little heart shaped diamond necklace, and then her fragile white night gown. The night gown was as light as a feather, as white as snow, not very revealing, yet not quite covered, she blushed furiously for the realization and decided to put on her equally white silk dressing gown.


The walk from the bathroom to their bedroom took forever, she nervously tightened the knot of her robe's belt, and made her way to the large bed. He was splendidly sitting on the bed, in only his pajama bottoms, flipping through TV channels, his hard, bronzed muscles in full display to her poor, terrified eyes. Sensing her presence he emmediatly looked up at her. His breath caught in his throat at the magnificent sight. God help him, she was exquisite. She saw the fires blazing in his eyes and the fear she tried hard to block, came rushing to the surface .She swallowed audibly and forced a nervous smile.

He smiled back. "ta3alaii..."


She joined him on the bed, feeling awkward and helplessly aware of her embarrasment. God, what was wrong with her! this isn't supposed to be this difficult, she knew this man, she trusted him, why on earth was she ready to run away if she had the chance?!

As if he sensed her uneasiness he asked her. " Am I making you nervous?"

She shook her head.

" you are making me nervous" He grinned.

"sij? laysh?" She knew he was teasing her.

" I'm not used to sleep next to a beautiful woman"

She giggled. "I'll make it easy for you...let's watch a movie! I brought a couple of DVD's with me and a popcorn bag!"

what the.. " M-matabeen etnameen?" He stammered stupidly. " Oh wait, we didn't have dinner yet" He totally forgot about that.

She shook her head almost violently, her hair spilling over her left shoulder, making her even more inticing and irresistible to him. Lord, she wanted to watch a movie and he...didn't want to.

" I don't want dinner, emsh el ma6bakh khansawii popcorn!" She said almost too excitedly. She grabbed his hand and shoved him off the bed. Too stunned to protest he followed his charming bride to the kitchen.

She threw the popcorn bag on the microwave and waited for it to be ready while he watched her every move intently. She was clearly nervous and frightened as hell but he didn't want to distress her more by telling her that she looked it. When the popcorn was ready, she poured it in two new bowls while he fetched drinks from the fridge.

"walla zain, it's stocked up." He said. " shino tishribeen?"

" madrii, water or hmmm fee redbull?"

He nodded. " bayeeblich athnain'hom"


He kissed her cheek and gave her a fierce hug before they went upstairs, he couldn't wait to touch her, he wanted to do it more than anything but he knew he'd ruin everything for her if he did it so soon.



Two hours later they were still sitting on the round leather table, facing the TV. His long legs streched out in front of him while she sat with her knees drawn up against her chest, her arms wrapped around them. She was thoroughly enjoying herself , snuggled up against him and eating slightly warm popcorn, he on the contrary was trying to pay attention to the movie but his mind and body were both distracted by the exciting presence of her in his bedroom. God, he wished he had more self discipline, he couldn't hold his annoyance any longer, he was annoyed with himself more than anything, afterall he was able to control himself all those past months from commiting the deed, why did this one extra night mattered so much? hell, it was because he fully well knew that in all cultures, a wedding night automatically meant one thing; lovemaking, and he obviously and unfortunately wouldn't get any tonight.


Another hour passed with her still watching TV, the movie ended yet she refused to leave the sofa. She told him she wanted to watch the other movie, he couldn't say no to her. He gave up.


" 7ayati ana baroo7 anam, etha khalastai join me" He yawned and stood up, trying desperately to hide his irritation.


" oh, taw ennaas.." Her face fell with dissapointment, she didn't want him to leave her, it was their wedding night for god's sake! and she was finally overcoming her fear and trully enjoying herself.


" enti allah ehadach 20 filim betshofeen, walla dayikh 7abeebi, ta3ali namai weyay.." He said, hope filling his gruff voice.


" mafeeni noom...khalas I'll go watch it bil salah, 3ashan ma az3ijik.."


" la you stay here, ana baroo7 anam barra. Good night" He kissed the top of her head, grabbed a pillow and blanket and with a quickened pace he left her to sleep alone, on their wedding night.


As soon as he left, the bedroom's air seemed to thicken around her. Her heart swelled with strange, heavy sadness, but it was better this way,she wasn't ready to sleep in the same bed with him, it was too soon for that and there would be many more nights and days to come, right? She could feel the tears burning at the back of her eyes yet she blinked them back, refusing to weep. She was going to act like a grown woman, watch the rest of the movie and go to sleep. alone



He strode into the living room, propped the pillow on the biggest sofa and lied down. He knew that if he went back to their bedroom and tried tender persuasion she would very likely be convinced to come to bed willingly with him,yet for some reason he couldn't do it. He sighed loudly and closed his eyes.

Several minutes have passed and neither sleep nor Nouf came to him. With a mixture of dissapointment and annoyance he turned his mind away from thoughts of her, let out a sigh of frustrated irritation and shut his eyes for the hundredth time.Exhaustion finally took mercy on him and nudged him to sleep.



Nouf stood before the enormous bed, torn apart between the confusing desire and yearning she felt for him and the fear she could not control. Pulling back the sheets, she got into bed and hid under the covers, trying desperately to stop thinking about him.


The task proved to be painfully difficult, if not impossible. She couldn't banish him from her thoughts and to make matters worse she was wide awake, it was the truth that she was aching to be near him. She drew back the sheets, put on her dressing gown and went to the living room.



To her utter dissapointment he was fast asleep. She stood and looked at him in the darkness for a long minute,and then something made her take several steps closer to him, until she was standing right before him. She marvelled at the beauty of her sleeping husband and wanted more than anything to touch his bronzed muscled arms. She leaned down and carefully drew the sheet up over his bare shoulders, unaware that he was a light sleeper she planted a kiss on his forehead and then straightened to leave and get back to the bedroom. She was about to turn her back to leave, when his voice came in a ragged whisper " Nouf, please don't leave..."







to be continued...