Unsuitable 10

I decided to google the cousin..his profile in linkedin appeared , he worked in finance, boring.. and a single photo from twitter and that was it. And then I googled Musaed and his parents and his sister and the whole family. I was pathetic. 

I woke up the next morning feeling rotten. Why did I do this to myself? Why was I obsessed over someone who didn’t want me? Why couldn’t I move on? I was a mess. And I couldn’t stop. At least not yet I had to torture myself first. 

I went to yoga after work. I wore a dusty rose leggings and matching set ; that complimented my skin tone (and my butt) and put my hair down (which proved to be a total fail in the end) anyway I saw him again that day and he totally ignored me in class but I could see him checking me out on the opposite mirror , he was a heterosexual guy after all, I thought..

When class was finished , I was in a bit of an emotional state , meditation got me all teary eyed so I head to the elevator, eyes blurry and he was there waiting. I enter without looking up. 

“How was class?” He asked 

“ amazing, she’s amazing”

“ sa7? “ 

I nodded , a fat tear rolling down my cheek. 

He laughed. “ tra ana I didn’t believe in yoga..kint a3ayib 3la elyoga o klish mo shakhseti aslan.. le lma sarli 7adith eb reeli o el doctor nisa7ni aro7 min yomha wana ma wagaft” 

“ oh, what kind of 7adith?”

“ my boat kind of butchered my foot..”

“ okh! Matshof sharr..” oh that baby foot of his! They must’ve given him the evil eye , I thought giggling suddenly. 

“ eshar mayeech.. betyeen class bachir?”

“ ee akeed”

“ Great, I’ll see you then enshallah”

That evening I came home feeling light and cheerful for the first time in weeks.. 

I showered and changed to meet the girls for dinner. I wore a blue silk dress that resembled Elvira Hancock’s iconic gown in scarface , if only he could see me now.. he would’ve loved it.. 

I stepped into the restaurant in my all my glorious blue silk and blonde waves and I saw him… with a woman…

Wow, I think I defied the odds of bumping into your ex looking like crap… 

Unsuitable 9

That night I ended up in the emergency room. I cried for hours and then my blood pressure dropped and I actually got physically sick. everything went blurry after that, I’m embarassed just thinking about it. I don’t recall the post break up phase all too well especially those first weeks but I  was one classy lady when it came to breakups;  I disappeared and never tried to call or text , I suffered in total silence not even mouthing a word about it to anyone. It killed me. 

And I lost tons of weight which was a good thing really. In those six weeks, I stayed in shabby PJs ordering take out every night and wallowing in self pity all the while waiting for him to text or call, I was dumb and hopeful. And I had crap nails and my roots were a disaster. One day, six weeks later  I decided to shower, put on something decent and go get my nails done. 

There was something so magical about salons .. the smell of nail laquer and a fresh blow dry and the soothing voice of the philipina nail lady who gives unrealistic love advice and lovely foot massages. 

I decided to have sushi with the girls instead of eating pizza on my couch. 

“ akheeran shifnach yl gaa63a”

“ wallah I didn’t leave my couch” I laughed

“ we know tara”

“ the whole city knows.., he left me” 

“ well thank you next! “ sarah said hotly 

“ nooo I quit dating khalas” 

“ you know what you need? Yoga!” maha suggested

“ I don’t know I’m not flexible..”

“ Zeinah honey you’re depressed.. you need to sweat! “

“ I’m not depressed” 

“ you are look at you all skinny and I’m jealous but you are!” sarah said. 

“ you are. Try a class okay? It will relax you wayid, I’ll book one for you “ 

So we talk about him a bit and then I tear up and they changed the subject and we talk about all the funny things and I laughed until I no longer feel like crying. 

So I went to that beginners yoga class. There was 3 of us girls and 3 men and I couldn’t help notice the guy in blue t shirt and shorts, he was yum and slightly familiar. The other thing I noticed was his heel it was as smooth as a baby’s.. ( He was facing me while stretching so..) 

So we finished class and I head to the elevator and I saw him there pressing on the elevator button. “ tfathilay, after you” he said 

“ thank you” 

I stand behind him in the elevator and observe. He was tall almost as tall as my gorgeous ex, his shoulders so broad and tanned and lovely , damn it who was he? 

I wouldn’t mind going to yoga everyday… 
That night I scrolled through instagram, stalking all the exes and I found him! The guy at yoga , he was Musaed’s cousin, my ex.. holly hell.