Sunday, 27 December 2015

Merry xmas

Hello readers, I didn't bail on you I promise ! I came down with the flu and still recovering, BUT a new long and extended part will be out tommorow enshallaa. Goodnight and stay warm xx 

Friday, 18 December 2015

Betrayal (9)

Head resting against the wheel, I tried to even out my ragged breathing. Another panic attack and this time a witness. I hated the attacks, they made me feel weak and helpless and he's the one to blame. 

No your weakness caused this. Shit , now the little voice in my head was being a bitch too. 

I needed my bed. 

I woke up hours later , head pounding , disoriented , my iphone blaring with text messages. I sat up straight and reached for it. 15 messages from my closest friends in our whatsapp group. 

Mariam: a little birdie told me you are in town, shaikha!!

Sabeeka: what? Already?

Nouf: omg! Shayoooookh u back?

And more messages. My stomach flipped nervously, kuwait was so small, everyone knew everything and I couldn't hide anymore, couldnt tell the truth either, i had to come up with a convincing lie. 

* yes babies Unfortunately I'm back, husband has urgent work :(*

Wow, lying was easy, and I've yet to master it since I was going to do it for a long time until this "issue" was resolved. I sighed and flopped back down the soft mattress. 

Another text message, this time from non other than the husband. 

* I'm back, need to see you asap*

Screw him! My nerves were practically distroyed and now this, I couldnt take all this stress anymore, it was starting to jeopardize my mental and physical health and truly ruin my skin, long gone the baby softnes I've spend thousands to achieve. I had to sort this out before it killed me. 

* come to my family's house, now* I replied  straight away. 

Less than thirty minutes later, he arrived, all travel disheveled and looking even sexier than the last I saw him, damn his good looks, if he was balding and short and round it would be much easier to leave him. 

" shaikha, I'm not here to give you divorce, so I'm telling you, dont even think about it . This will not make either of us look good, my mother and yours as well won't make this easy for you if I ever accept to divorce you , so you might as well remove that idea from your head and  pack your stuff to come with me" 

Fury was an underestatement. If I was furious and hurt and bitter before, I was murderous now! That's it I'll murder him in his sleep and spend the rest of my life in a psyche ward. 

I took a deep breath. " and then what?"

" and then you live like a queen. You get whatever you want" 

Again with the shit talk. I wanted attention and love and sex and passion, not this! But, what if he was right? What if all marriages were based on lies and other women and cheating and ugliness? What if I was delusional and khaleeji men werent capable of fidelity? 

Besides divorce was a mess, especially if the other party wasn't willing to cooperate. I sighed, things were appearantly going as he planned. 

I sighed in defeat. " fine. I'll pack my bags"

" thank you" he exhaled loudly, and kissed the top of my head totally taking me by surprise. 

My suitcase was ready since I barely had time to unpack thank god, I wasn't in the mood to concentrate. 

Our sea view apartment exceeded my expectations , the exclusive residence had only foreigners policy but obviously the husband had his ways.  eveything was luxurious and modern it was vogue decor kind of pretty. At least he had money, I thought gloomily. 

I stared out the window at the vivid blue swimming pool and tennis court , I could get used to that...

By the time I finished unpacking and getting most of my stuff out I was exhausted and it was past 7 pm. He was still working on his laptop, checking his phone frequently. We barely exchanged any words. 

" you hungry?" He asked. 

" Not really" I said, warily. He was trying so hard to act normal, this was far from normal, I only agreed to stay with him for the sake of my own sanity and because I've decided that  I'm going to make his life a living hell or Even better I'll make him love me even if I died trying. 

" I'll order takeout" He announced. " italian? Sushi? Whatever you want"

" yes" I said distractedly 

I could feel his gaze at me, I ignored and headed to the bathroom to take a calming bubble bath. 

Damn, it was gorgeous. All glass and sparkly torquoise...and spacious! I could spend all day here. The bath tub seperated from the shower box, both looking tempting, I opted for a quick shower first and then I had to christen that bath! 

Loud knocking on the door woke me up from my dreamless sleep. Shit, I must have slept in the tub. 

" Shaikha?" Mubarak's head appeared from behind the door. " it's been almost an hour"

" I must have slept" I rubbed my eyes, voice all husky. 

My skin was all wrinkly like a 90 year old, and the water was now cold. Urgh , I was freezing. 

" need help?" He asked, his color deepening. 

" it's okay, I'll be out in a minute" I wasn't going to let him see me naked. 

We ate in awkward silence around the huge glass table. He ate ravenously, Not bothering with conversation, he must be as tired as I was. I played with the food in my plate , my mind miles away. Suddenly my thoughts wandered toward a dangerous route; the stranger With the smoldering eyes I met yesterday. The mystery behind it all. What happend at the airplane? Why was he so interested in me? I looked like a corpse recently, not bothering with makeup or even doing my hair. 

Two hous later I was in bed , hands shaking while holding my phone. My heart was thumbing so hard, breath ragged; I was going to have another panic attack this time because I just sent that stranger a text message. 

Just because my husband was a cheating bastard , I wasn't going to stoop to his level and do the same. But it was too late now because I'd already texted him. 

" hello there" less than a minute later. 

Omg omg omg ...

Wednesday, 16 December 2015


Hello gorgeous readers! i'm back for real and I'm to start posting regularly, been travelling all year long and it's hard to keep up with blogging! Anyways I'm going to publish a new part tonight enshallaa but I want you guys to support my other new personal blog/journal where I'm going to write non-fiction ,aaand I need your support! 

Follow and read my other blog

Thank you xoxo

Monday, 7 December 2015

Betrayal (8)

My hands shook, spilling coffee all over my white shirt, I inhaled loudly, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. * as soon as I land we meet and talk things through* I reread the message I just received from Mubarak again and the icy fingers of despair wrap around my heart just like the first time I found out about the other woman.

"are you okay?" My friend frowned, snapping my attention.

By now I was sweating like a pig, my thoughts all jumbled, and I just needed to leave.

" I'm sorry I...that was home, they're coming back I've to go"

"But shaikha! at least finish your coffee.."

" I really have to go..we'll definitely go out soon, salami!" I blew her a kiss, threw my untouched coffee in the nearest bin and literally jogged to my car.

I expected the tears to flow once I settled in my car seat, instead I could feel the beginning of a panic attack. I groaned and splayed my hands against my stomach, pressing my fingers hard,as if that's going to help, I rubbed my head frantically, shaking and sweating all over, I couldn't breathe, I let out a whimper , of fear, of helplessness, and then I began to lose it...I was going to die, this was it....

A loud knock at my window and then strong arms hauling me outside the car, I still remember the scent; pure masculinity, cars and gas and tobacco and some cologne die for.

" are you okay??" he asked, while cradling my useless limps in his arms. " esmallah 3alaich, what was that? You scared the hell out of me, I had to do something, calling the ambulance would take ages"

I was surprised. I was beginning to get back to reality, slowly, my heartbeats and breathing slowing down. eyes willing with tears, I chocked out whispered words " who are you? why are you everywhere?"

A hint of a smile tugged at bee-stung lips. " I was starting to think you were stalking me"

I stared at him, too tired to feel embarrassed or any other emotion other than exhaustion. still laying in his arms, I wet my parched lips and said " I thought I had a heart attack, I-"

"it's okay, you're safe now.." He soothed me, his voice like a caress to my wounded heart. Was I too desperate that the slight attention of a man made me feel wanted?? I felt sick with myself. I tried to move from him but dizziness and his strong, unrelenting arms deterred me.

" I'm Abdulwahab, I want you to remember this time" He said, referring to the airport situation where I didn't remember a damn thing.

"and I'm going to take you to the hospital or home , any which one you want as long as I take you" He said looking straight into my eyes.

" it''s uh..okay I can drive, I'm sure I-"

" No. you're not driving" He said, and it kind of amuse me, caveman mentality...

A reluctant smile appear on my face and I try to stand up, this time he's supporting me with his arm. "thank you that was very nice, you don't have to"

" I want to" He said looking at me intensely. what was wrong with the guy? I was wearing a huge rock on my wedding finger, how hadn't he notice?

He took my phone and saved his number and handed it back to me, it was all so strange and inappropriate and I had to do something, I had to clarify the situation.

" I saved my number now you can call whenever you want" He said, those intense eyes boring into mine. I looked away.

" Abdulwahab.." calling strangers with their first name was a first..this was going to be embarrassing.

"Shaikha" He said at the same time and we both chuckled. " ladies first"

" no you go first" I urged, not wanting to disappoint him with my news.

" okay" He said. " so you do remember what we had in the airplane?"

I swallowed hard. " what? I-I'm sorry it's all a blur"

He sighed. " so you really don't remember"

" No, and I want to seem to know things about me, I just-"

" I'll tell you on the phone, tonight.." He said gently

my heart squeezed, I had to tell him the truth, this was totally wrong. " No, Abdulwahab I can't call you"

"why?" He was confused.

" because..I'm married" I involuntarily raise my hand with the finger.

" are you kidding me?" He looked genuinely surprised.

I nodded. " and I don't remember anything about you, I'm sorry"

He shook his head as if in disbelief, a humorless laugh escaping him. " I'm sorry, consider this thing never happened, I'm truly sorry, maybe it was someone else. I'll leave as soon as I give you a lift"

"no, I'm sorry, it's okay I can drive, really" my face flooded with heat, this need to be over, soon.

He stared at me for a moment and then nodded and left without a word.


what really happened in the airplane
Shaikha popped a whole pill instead of a half as recommended by her doctor, if she was too anxious or stressed. On top of all that she was depressed and broken hearted. she didn't know that beautiful things were about to unfold, beautiful things that she failed later on to remember.
As soon as she was seated she was beginning to feel calmer, and a whole lot more cheerful. She noticed the hunk occupying the seat right next to her's. He was impossibly large, all muscles and really tall. His swarthy skin and facial hair was what made her stare, and that hair...and lashes and eye brows. too much hair everywhere and it looked amazing, he looked like a Spanish god.
She kept staring like a lunatic, oblivious to the world, the evil pill made her that way, if she knew how badly this would go she'd hire a chaperone!
He finally looked back at her. A dimple appearing in his left cheek, amidst all the hair. " hi"
" you have pretty eye lashes" She blurted, making him laugh suddenly.
"you too" His eyes danced. he was enjoying the game she was playing.
She was tiny, her barely eve noticed her but the lack of size was compensated for the outrageous personality. He was never approached by girls that way, simple and forward. they always schemed to make him marry them, pretending to be someone they aren't , this girl was different, she didn't give a rat's ass about his opinion and for that he was very impressed. it wasn't the looks although she did look good what with the milky fair skin and blonde hair but she wasn't his type, he preferred bigger, thicker girls with dark hair .
"oh they're fake, totally" She grinned stupidly making him laugh again.
" is anything else fake?" He pretended to be shocked.
" maybe" She challenged.
" I'm sure I don't want to know"
She grinned at him " what brings you to Italy?" Finally a decent question.
" here for the prix, I drive"
" you drive?"
"race drive"
" am I pretty?" She suddenly asked. what the..he was starting to suspect that she was on something, was she drunk?
Suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she let out a sob, covering her mouth. " I'm sorry" She whispered and it tugged at his heart.
" hey hey don't cry" He soothed her like a child. " yes you are really pretty, just like that Israeli actress, the same cat tipped eyes, tiny nose, full lips..should I go on?"
She looked at him, tears swimming in her eyes, mesmerized . " really?"
" yes really, and whoever made you not believe that is a tasteless asshole"
She giggled. "I wish you were my hus- I need to rest my head, my uncle is riding the airplane, you know , the made me the rice and the .." she babbled until she dropped her head on his shoulder, snuggling deeper into his warmth. his manners and the fact that he felt sorry and something else for her made her sleep their all five hours. He was then hundred percent sure that she was on something and he didn't care, the woman was obviously in too much pain and she looked weak, his nature for saving strays drew him to her....
to be continued